Falling
by GoldenEyes4
Summary: After the death of her mother, Bella Swan is forced to move to Forks with her father Charlie. There she is greeted and welcomed immediately by everyone...except one mysterious family who Bella can't get out of her mind, especially the youngest brother.
1. Abandoned

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Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(

**Hello everyone! New readers, and old! First off, to my loyal readers who've been with me since day one...thank you! I am so glad you have followed me and support me! And to the new, thank you for having faith and choosing to read this story of mine. This will be my third ff and each and every one is special to me! I hope you all enjoy my new story that I am offering, and for those who just read _Taking Chances_, please get that Bella out of your heads, this Bella will be more like book-Bella, not that the last Bella wasn't...but I really hope ya'll enjoy it!**

**Bella POV**

She was gone.

That is what I kept telling myself on the plane ride. She's gone, and she's never coming back. You're alone.

Abandoned.

My wet eyes swept the green forests below me, searching for some hope. Some tiny shred of hope that would tell me I'm going to be okay. I just needed a light at the end of the tunnel. I needed my mother. But she was gone.

Ever since that day, my world had turned upside down. Nothing made any sense anymore. It was like I wasn't even in my own body. The body of Isabella Marie Swan was still functioning, going on with life...but her soul wasn't. No, she was hanging back, watching herself do the movements of survival without care or feeling. Emotion was all gone. This girl called Bella... was lifeless.

"Bells, are you okay?"

I was brought back to reality by the voice of my so-called-father, Charlie. I only saw him for two weeks every year, always in June. Once he came down to Arizona to visit with me when I was twelve, but he couldn't take the heat. What that really meant was he couldn't stand my mother's long-time boyfriend, Phil. But he was gone now too. Torn apart, just like me. Only he had a life to live for, a job. I had nothing, so there was nothing stopping me from quitting it completely.

"Yeah."

I don't think I had said more than three words at one time to Charlie since he'd come down for the funeral last week. No, scratch that. I'm pretty sure the blow-up we'd had five days ago ruined that streak. It was when he told me I couldn't stay in Phoenix, that I had to move up to rainy Forks with him. I freaked out. I was seventeen for God's sake! I could surely live out the six months until I was eighteen pretty well. But he said no. I yelled and yelled and cried, but it was no use. I was Forks-bound by law. If he couldn't force me, child's services sure could.

So here I was, on the plane to Forks with my dad. My mother was dead and there was nothing that could change it.

~.~

Three weeks before my mother died, I had been sitting beside her bed in the hospital reading _The Catcher in the Rye_. I loved that book. It was probably the only thing that kept me sane during all the times my mother was rushed back into the hospital. Holden Caulfield didn't have a care in the world. He just glided through without thinking. There were so many times when I wished I didn't worry like he did. But I always did. And that's why I liked it so much, because even for a few minutes while my mother was sleeping, I'd have a world to disappear to and not care.

I was just reaching the middle of it when I noticed she was awake and watching me. I closed the book and put it aside.

"Hey," I whispered, pouring her some water. "How're you feeling?"

She took the water and sipped it generously before setting it back down. Her voice was still hoarse when she spoke.

"I'm alright, just the same."

I brushed the hair from her eyes and opened the blinds so she could have light.

"So how many times now?"

I sat back down and looked curiously. "Huh?"

She smiled. "How many times have you read that book now? A hundred?"

I blushed like I always did and her hand gently cupped my face. "There it is, that famous blush of yours."

I placed my hand over hers, which was always cold despite the heat in the room. "I'm going to miss that the most about you, I think."

Hot tears welled up in my eyes and I shook my head furiosly. "No. You won't have to miss it, Mom. It's always going to be here. _You'll_ always be here. Don't think that way."

Her eyes were tired, always with dark circles under them. The happiness faded away suddenly.

"My sweet Bella...please don't be upset."

My chest started heaving. I couldn't even think about not having her here with me. "How can I not be upset when you keep talking about dying? You don't know that Mom! You beat it last time, and you can beat it again!"

But she didn't answer me this. We both knew it. We both saw the charts, heard the doctors...but we could both see that my mother wasn't getting any better.

"Why don't you go get some coffee, hmm? It'll do you some good to get up and walk around. Maybe go sit in the courtyard for a bit, get out of this musty room. I'll be fine. Besides, I've got chemo in half an hour and I know you don't like sitting through that,"she suggested.

I wiped my eyes and stood up. "Okay. Do you want anything?"

She shook her head. "Just go, Bella."

~.~

My old room looked the same as it did every summer, with some updates. The walls went from beige to a weird eggplanty color, the bedspread was purple and not white, and there were curtains thank God. Charlie also added a large desk with a new laptop sitting on it. There were also some photos of me and him hanging around the room and some other knick-nacks you could only find in a tiny town like this. Amazing as it sounded, it made me feel comfortable. So I started to unpack slowly, taking time to put my few things in organized order, just the way I liked it.

"Bella, come here for a minute," Charlie called from downstairs.

I sighed and considered ignoring him, but he had done so much for me, even if it involved moving me to this hick town. So I padded my way downstairs and outside to the front where Charlie was standing in front of a giant, rusty-red truck from the 50's.

"What's that?" I asked, trying to decide if he traded it in for the cruiser or wanted to start fixing cars as a lame hobby.

"It's for you," he answered.

It took my brain a few minutes to register that thought. This deathtrap was for _me_?

"What?"

Charlie smiled and slapped the side of it. "Yep! Just bought it off an old friend, Billy Black. You remember him? Anyway, thought you'd need a car to get to school and all."

Sometimes staying mad at Charlie was impossible when he decided to be all fatherly. It actually liked it that way. Before my mom got sick, she was like my best friend rather than a mother. So coming to stay with Charlie was like a breath of fresh air, actually getting to feel like a real teenager.

But thinking of that only reminded me of Mom. The happiness left my face and I nodded.

"Thanks Ch-....Dad."

I folded my arms and went back into my room and locked the door to start my first crying fit in Forks.

~.~

When six o'clock rolled around, I wiped my eyes dry and splashed some cold water on my face before heading downstairs. Charlie was sitting on the couch watching a stupid baseball game. It reminded me of Phil. I should call him, see how he's doing. My mother's face popped into my mind again and it took all my strength to not cry.

"So...what's for dinner?" I asked, breaking the silence. Charlie turned around to see me and instantly noticed my puffy eyes. But he didn't ask, which I was eternally grateful for.

"Oh uhm....how about some eggs?" he suggested, standing up and straightening the ridiculous belt buckle he wore.

I raised an eyebrow. Eggs? "Okay, nevermind. I'll go cook something. You just sit down."

He waved a hand. "No, I'll cook. It's fine."

But I stood in the way of him and the kitchen. "No, really. I can cook."

If he wanted to make me eggs, there was no way I was letting him in that kitchen. So he nodded in agreement and took up his seat again. I blew out a breath of relief and headed into the tiny kitchen which my mother had painted yellow once. It just made it all that more ugly and small.

A bigger shock came when I opened the fridge. It was almost empty except beer, eggs, and bacon. I wrinkled my nose in disgust. I was definitely going to the store tomorrow. So I pulled out the eggs and bacon.

"Breakfast it is."

~.~

Night was the loneliest time of the day for me. And especially now, I felt useless. During nights at the hospital I never slept, because I was too paranoid something might happen to my mother while I wasn't looking. So I stayed up and held her hand like a child until she was fast asleep. Then I'd curl up in the chair next to her bed and watch. Sometimes I'd read or watch TV with the mute on. And then I'd check on her in thirty minute intervals. I'd make sure she was still breathing and she was warm. And when the nurses came in to do the same thing, they'd find it completed. My mother didn't need anyone but me. I could take care of her.

It was times like that when I thought of becoming a doctor. I had been taking care of my mom since I was thirteen, that was four years. I wasn't a normal teenager to say the least. I knew how to read charts and decipher blood counts. I could understand every monitor she was on and knew what pills were for what and what they did and how they did it. But it all came down to the fact that my mother was dying. Everything I'd learned wasn't helping her. And the thought of being around people like her all day killed me.

So the night she died, I didn't sleep at all. In fact, I haven't had a full night of sleep since. Sure I could get in some hours, but I'd always wake up around two and then after that it was useless in trying. Tonight was no different. I sat watching the rain splatter on my window like the tears rolling down my face. I had nothing, anymore. It was all gone.

Unable to help myself, I got up and put on my boots and coat and grabbed a flashlight before slipping out the back door. It was pitch black and wet. But when I turned the flashlight on, it felt nice. Like I was the only person in the world. I took in a breath and then started down the muddy path into the woods. I enjoyed the rain as it splashed down on my face and soaked me to the bone. Even though it was freezing, I didn't mind. When I got tired of walking, I sat down on a fallen log beside the path. I leaned my head on the tree next to it and shone the light all around me. It was beautiful, all the dripping plants. My mother would have loved it. Thinking of her only brought back a feeling of emptiness though.

My chest started heaving and sobs erupted out of me like a volcano. My heart ripped in two again and I wrapped my arms around me, as if to hold together the pieces of my broken body. I hadn't cried hysterically like this since the day she died.

I don't know how long I had been crying, but a sudden erie feeling washed over me. Like I was being watched. I frantically shined the light everywhere, but there was nothing. I was all alone. But the feeling got worse. The woods suddenly felt dangerous and wild. My heart thumped in my chest and blood coursed throught my veins. I jumped up and started hurrying back to the house, all the while shining the light around me. The pit of my stomach twisted with fear and I picked up my pace.

I got back into my room in half the time it took me to get out there. I shivered and tore off my wet clothes and huddled under the covers, only to start crying again.

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**So...there is the first chapter! What did ya think? I hope ya'll enjoyed it! Please leave me some feedback, or love, or just anything really! Spread the word if you can! 3**


	2. The Jungle

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Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(

**Really? Only 9 reviews? What happened to everyone from Taking Chances? Alright, I guess we'll have to build up to it. Thanks to those who did review though!! You guys are awesome! And I don't have a set schedule. Usually I post in the least once a week, sometimes twice a week if I have time. I really don't have a ton of time, but that's usually the norm.**

**Bella POV**

The population of Forks High School was tiny. No, really. It was like a crump compared to the cookie of a highschool I came from in Phoenix. My old school consisted of over two thousand people. Forks didn't even compare with it's four hundred and twelve students. I guess it was a nice change. Maybe people here were closer and less cliquey. Not that I was looking to fit in. I just wanted to finish out my high school career and get over it. Even back home I never made it a priority to find a special group. Sure I had friends, but most of the time I was with my mother. I was taking care of her or on a good day just being her friend. I never worried myself with finding a date for Saturday night or someone to have makeovers with.

High school was a jungle. Walking down the halls being squished between bodies that I didn't know made me feel even more small and insecure. It wasn't enough for people to just mind their own business and be the best, but while they were at it they might as well point out your flaws to make themselves seem even better. People at my old school usually just left me alone, but I knew what they thought when I walked down the halls beside all the tan barbies and buff jocks. _Oh there's that Bella girl. Her mother has cancer, poor thing. She's so pale. Why doesn't she ever dress up cute? Why doesn't she wear more makeup? Does she even have a boyfriend? She has no friends. Brainiac. We should feel sorry for her, her mother is dying. _They didn't have to say it outloud, I could feel it in their eyes.

It's not like I was a total nerd or anything. Just because I took AP's and Honors, didn't mean anything. It's not a huge shocker that maybe I understand stuff like that, it just comes natural to me and easy classes are just plain boring. It's not like I'm ugly. Okay, so I'm not the prettiest girl ever, I'm pale to the point of being transparent. I have average brown hair that I can run my fingers through and it looks fine. My eyes are just a plain, boring brown. I've always been skinny despite my lack of talent for anything physical. That's just how I was, plain. Average. I didn't need to cover my eyes and dark eyeliner or wear the latest fashions, although my mother tried. I was just me. Friends and boyfriends could happen later....when my mom didn't need me.

But Forks was different. I sat in the school parking lot while the rain chased all the students inside and watched. There wasn't a group of plastic girls walking around with attitude or a group of un-naturally buff guys beating up a skinny dork. Everyone fit in with each other. They all dressed the same, mostly jeans and tshirts, some girls had on sweaters or tights with skirts, but they weren't flashy or showy. They all talked and said hi like they were best friends. I watched in amazement as a skinny guy with acne and a trumpet kissed his girlfriend who was tall and curvy and obviously one of the more popular girls here. That would never have happened at my old school. I took a deep breath, deciding today wouldn't be so bad and I made my way inside.

The halls were wide and brightly lit, offering personal space to everyone who walked. I almost smiled as I strolled the halls without being shoved aside. I found my first class quickly, Government, and stepped inside. The teacher smiled welcomingly and told me to sit in a seat in the back. I sat down self-consciously because everyone was staring at me. No doubt they knew who I was. _Chief Swan's daughter, her mother just died. Pity_ _her._

But instead, a cute boy with dimples and blond hair leaned across the aisle and smiled warmly at me.

"Hey. I'm Mike. You're Isabella, huh?"

I blushed hard, like I always did when someone said Isabella.

"It's Bella, actually."

He shrugged, un-phased by how rudely I answered him. "Just wanted to be the first to welcome you."

I nodded, touched that he actually meant it.

And that wasn't even the end. Throughout the day dozens of kids greeted me and introduced me. They were all sincere and fascinated by me for some odd reason. Maybe it was some dead parents clause I missed in the fine print. It was when lunch came that I was practically ambushed by a girl who was just barely shorter than me. She was spunky and smiley, letting her loose brown curls bounce around as she walked and was greeted by almost everyone. Guess I knew how Miss Popular was. Her name was Jessica.

"So you're eating lunch with me, right?" she asked randomly in the middle of her conversation about prom.

I shrugged. "Sure, why not." It's not like I had anyone else to eat with. She smiled and started ranting off again. I tuned her out and clutched my books close to my chest. I let my eyes wander until they suddenly stopped and focused on a boy at the end of the hallway. He was tall, maybe a little over six feet. But that wasn't why I stared. He was absolutely the most gorgeous man I'd ever layed eyes on. He was pale, paler than me. But it was like a glowy pale, something that added to his beauty, like marble. And he had brilliant bronze hair that was in a perfect disarray on his head. Even from this distance, I could make out that his eyes were dark, jet black. He stood against the wall by the doors of the cafeteria with his arms folded so I could make out the perfect tone of his biceps and I could see every curve and contour of his chest through his blue shirt.

"Uhm, Bella? What are you staring at? Are you listening to me?"

But I didn't even register that Jessica was speaking to me. I gulped in. He was staring right at me. At first there was a tiny smirk on his face, but as we neared closer it disappeared and his face was filled with concentration, and then anger, and then bewilderment. A tiny, pixie-like girl came up beside him. She was equally beautiful with short, black hair and very fancy clothes, unlike every other girl here. She slapped his arm and he broke out of his gaze. Three more people came up. A tall blonde boy who took up the tiny girl's hand, and then a tall playboy-model like girl came around the corner, holding the hand of a giant, muscley guy who looked like he could break me in half like that. They were all incredibly gorgeous and incredibly pale. The bronze haired boy took one last glance before following the group into the cafeteria.

"Bella!"

I snapped out of it to see Jessica's worried stare.

"S-sorry."

She rolled her eyes. "Those were the Cullen's. They don't talk to anyone, too good for us apparently, and they're all super attractive, I know." She said the last part with resentment. I wonder which boy she liked. "But don't waste your time. Just ignore them like everyone else does."

Ignore them? As if that were possible. But it made me wonder. How might that feel, to be ignored? Maybe they wanted it that way. But who wanted to sit their life ignored?

"Are they related?" I asked her as we got in line. Jessica sighed, like she was sick of the story. "Sort of. They live together, with the doctor and his wife. They're like, multimillionaires or something. So they're all adopted, but like, they're all together. It's like some creepy cult. Except Edward Cullen, the hottest one. He's single and denied every girl here, so don't even think about it."

She said it as if I had no chance. I knew that, but still. Maybe she was more like the blond barbies I knew after all.

When we got our food and sat down, I recognized a lot of people I'd met today. There was Mike, some nerdy kid named Eric, Tyler, Lauren, and a nice girl Angela I met in English. She wasn't like the others, she was considerate and sweet and didn't mind silence like me. I liked her the best. Right as the conversation started, I noticed right away Jessica had a crush on Mike. She kept batting her eyes and fawning on him and touching him. And he seemed to actually enjoy himself...? That is until he saw me and started talking. Jessica rolled her eyes in annoyance and turned to gossip with Lauren, a snooty girl who kept giving me the stink eye.

"So Bella, what do you have seventh?" Angela asked inbetween bites of her celery sticks. I pulled out my schedule and scanned it. I refused to look until the next class so I wouldn't have to spend all period waiting for the horrors.

"Uhm I have...ballroom?"

I checked once, twice, thrice. No. I didn't sign up for ballroom! I could barely walked two feet without tripping.

"Oh good! Me too!"

I shook my head. "No, I didn't sign up for ballroom. This is wrong!" I sighed and got up. "I'm going to the office to change it."

I was in such a hurry heading out that I wasn't even watching where I was going. It wasn't until I ran right into someone, spilling everything from my hands on the ground, that I stopped to look up.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to-"

I stopped short. I was looking right into the eyes of the bronze haired boy, Edward. I noticed that his pale hands were suddenly scrunched into fists and his nose wrinkled in disgust. I backed up a step, terribly frightened.

"I-I-I-" I kept studdering, unable to speak. He looked so angry. It could see how it took all his strentgh to bend down and pick up my books. God I was such a spaz. I couldn't even move to help him. Then he placed them in my arms and practically ran out the door without so much as one word. I stood there shaking for awhile until I could see he was out of eyesight. I regained my composure and hurried back outside and towards the office.

~.~

"I'm sorry Miss Swan. There is nothing else open."

"Well, then transfer me into another core class. I'll take two maths if I have to."

The office attendent raised her eyebrow at me. "You need a gym credit and ballroom is the only thing with room. I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do."

I had the sudden urge to slap her, but quickly scolded myself. I wasn't usually a violent person, but with everything I've been through I was finding myself more impatient and testy everyday. It kind of scared me. So I picked up my schedule and gave her a sarcastic smile and muttered a thanks anyway. The bella rang and I went on to my own personal hell.

When I walked inside the small dance room, I noticed everywall was covered in mirrors and small table was in the corner with a huge stereo on it. I searched around until I saw Angela. She waved me over with a smile and I went to her. She was talking with Jessica and Mike. Oh great.

"So you couldn't get out?" she asked. I shook my head. "Nope. I honestly can't dance at all. I can barely walk. This is going to be humiliating."

Mike suddenly grabbed my waist and spun me around. "Not with me as a partner!"

My foot caught on my pants and my knee buckled, sending me flying ten feet before I stumbled to a hault.

"Oh God! I'm so sorry," he said, dragging me back to the group. Jessica punched his arm. "I thought we were partners."

He sighed, totally forgetting her. "Yeah Jess, but it's her first day. You can dance with Jeremy."

He pointed to a kid sitting in the corner picking his nose on the sly. She winced. "Ew! As if!"

Mike rolled his eyes at her and then grimaced as the door opened again.

My heart stopped. Edward Cullen and his tiny sister strolled in. She wore a friendly smile, though she didn't say anything to anyone. But he was tense, his eyes hard and still dark. The moment he saw me his nose wrinkled again like I smelled. He led his sister to the other side of the room, but not before she snuck a quick peek at me as if he had told her something, thought his lips weren't moving. But her eyes weren't dark. They were concentrated and sparkly.

"Why is he looking at you that way?" Jessica whispered to me. I shook my head. "I don't know. It's like he wants to kill me, and I didn't even do anything."

Mike chuckled. "Probably pissed him off when you ran into him at lunch." Then he suddenly wore a bad British accent. "Oh how dare you run into me you unworthy pest! I am too good for you and for everyone at this school. Now watch my stuck up family and I spit at you."

Jessica and Angela cracked up along with him, but I didn't. Something about the way he stared at me was really scary....but I liked it. It was strangly inviting.

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**Ooo....Edward's back! So..what do you guys think? Leave some love please! **


	3. Edward

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Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(

**Ok ya'll! Let's boost this review count up!! Please, if you read but don't review, I really do appreciate it when you do because it helps me become such a better writer knowing what ya'll think and stuff. But, you guys that do, thanks so much for the support! It means the world to me! 3**

**And this does start out like Twilight with a twist, but later on it will be so different because I'm making the whole plot different from Twilight, so expect some surprises soon!**

**Bella POV**

"Alright class, settle down!" Ms. Patcher announced while clapping her hands. The room fell silent and she glided into the middle of the room, wearing a long, flowy red skirt and a black long-sleeved shirt. "Okay, today we're going to start the Waltz."

Every girl in the room let out a soft "aw" and a squeal while the guys just rolled their eyes.

"I just love dancing all delicately like that!" Angela gushed while batting her long eyelashes at a guy named Ben.

I however, was the only girl who actually scowled. The Waltz? No doubt I'd be dying of embarrassment. Although I did know the basic steps. Before my mother relapsed, she and Phil got engaged and she had me take ballroom so I could be able to dance in the wedding. Of course after the first week she got sick again and the wedding never happened. Trying to ballroom dance again made my heart ache for the one person I couldn't have. I used to watch her and Phil dance together in the house sometimes. She was so graceful and elegant the way she'd move up and down with each step, their bodies moving like the waves in an ocean.

I wished I could be more like her. More beautiful, more graceful, more outgoing, just more everything. She was so unordinary and always stood out, people always wanted to get to know her; whereas I blended in. I was forgotten easily and ignored even more.

"Bella, are you crying?"

I jerked back into reality and realized Mike was watching me in concern. I quickly dabbed at the small tear running down my cheek and fake smiled.

"Yeah, sure. Just...thinking," I answered lamely.

"She's not _that_spectacular to watch," Jessica snorted, motioning towards Ms. Patcher as she danced the basics for us.

She stopped suddenly. "Alright, so those are the steps and now to demonstrate how they look once they are perfected, would Mr. and Miss Cullen please come up?"

All eyes shifted immediately to the models in the corner. The tiny sister looked pleased and slightly happy, but Edward kept his eyes straight and jaw locked. Obviously he didn't want to demonstrate.

"Do they always demonstrate?" I asked Angela. She nodded. "They are like professional ballroom dancers, I swear to God. So Ms. Patcher has them demonstrate every dance for us."

Edward took his sister's hand and twirled her in a circle before they took up positions. Their statures were tall and elegant, his head held straight with hers slightly to the left. Ms. Patcher turned on some music and they immediately started on the simple box-step.

Ms. Patcher started counting lightly to herself, and they stayed with the counts in perfect timing. Then they took off into the most complicated Waltz I'd ever seen. They rose up and down in unison, perfect contentment covering their faces. So Edward liked dancing, that much was obvious. Then he leaned her back and they spun around and around. I couldn't help but cock my head in wonder. They were so beautiful together.

The music stopped and they bowed to each other before taking up their corner again. I swear Ms. Patcher wiped a tear.

"Oh, that was just _marvelous_!" she gushed. The room broke into a crappy applause. "Okay everyone, partner up!"

Mike crept next to me and bowed. "Will you dance with me?"

I peered over at Jessica. She stood with her arms folded and pouted. I bit my lip in apology and took his hand. Jessica stomped off to ask a cute kid with a brown shag.

"I think you made Jessica mad," I said, watching as the guy was totally checking her out, but she was glaring at our reflection in the mirror.

"Whatever. She'll get over it. It's your first day," he said, as if they made it okay. We got into position and started doing the box-step. We only took two steps before I screwed up and stepped on his foot. "Shoot. I'm sorry. I really suck at this."

Mike just laughed and pulled me closer so our bodies were touching. I blushed even though I didn't want to be that close to him. Throughout the whole dance, Mike kept pulling me closer until the front of our bodies were molding together. I kept trying to pull away, but he was too strong.

"Uhm, I think we're too close," I said, biting my lip. "No, this is perfect," he said, pulling me even closer. Edward and his sister spun by us at that moment and my eyes locked with his. They were still tense, but there was a tiny smirk on his face, like he had been watching me struggle the whole time. I tried to glare, but my face was frozen in wonder.

~.~

When the bell finally rang, I booked it out of class to avoid Mike Newton and his awkward embraces. I could hear Jessica calling after me, but quite frankly I could have cared less. I didn't need friends. I could make it through the next year and a half just find without them. It's not like I planned on living here. I just wanted to graduate and get back to Arizona. I'd give anything for the hot sun beating down my back right now; to be surrounded by cactuses and convertibles. I wanted the baking heat. Instead I stared up at the gray sky and shuddered. Light rain began to fall for the hundredth time today. I wrapped my arms tigher around myself and hurried faster to my car.

_"I don't know why you're making such a big deal! You did fine!"_

_"Fine? Are you kidding me? I almost ruined everything! We can't stay here!"_

The voices sounded like bells, like a perfect harmony. I turned to see where they were coming from. It was Edward and his tiny sister. They were walking, huddled, obviously unaware that I could hear them. I slowed my pace.

_"Edward, please. Just breathe in some fresh air. I'm sure you're over reacting."_

_"Alice, stop trying to persuade me. I know what I'm in over my head, okay? Trust me."_

They got out of ear range by then, making their way over to a shiney, brand new Volvo. He got in the drivers seat and Alice got in the passenger. The rest of his family came too, but they got inside a bright red BMW parked right next to it. Should have guessed they were wealthy. I turned to face my rust bucket and sighed in dispair. They were clearly a very dramatic family. But I got the strange sensation they were talking about me. But then I realized that was very egotistical of me and shook it off.

I drove to the tiny grocery store, the only one in town, and sighed as the rain started to pour. Since I had no athletic abilities, I didn't even try to run inside. In fact the storm got so loud that you could hear it perfectly from the inside of the store. I steered my cart from aisle to aisle and picked up random little things, but my mind was elsewhere. I couldn't get Edward out of the my head. The way he looked at me was so strange. It looked like he wanted to eat me. Shivers ran down my back, from the cold or from the strange looks I didn't know.

~.~

When I finally got home, I saw a strange car parked in front of the house. I got out of my own car and saw that it was Mike Newton, getting out of his beat up Corolla. He waved enthusiastically.

"Dammit," I muttered under my breath. Couldn't he just leave me alone?

"What are you doing here, Mike?" I called, shielding the rain from my eyes with my hand.

He was waving something in his hand....a book maybe?

"You looked upset after class! You ran outside so quick I couldn't catch you," he said, finally reaching me.

I folded my arms awkwardly. If he touched me, I would slug him. I swear it.

"Sorry."

His happy expression wasn't even hindered. "You left this," he said, holding out my English book. I took it from his hands, trying to avoid contact, and hugged it to my chest.

"That's, that was really nice."

That only made Mike grin bigger. "Yeah, well I knew you'd be upset if you left it. We have that assignment due tomorrow and all."

I kept switching balances on my right and left foot. Right. Left. Right. Left.

"Well...uhm...thanks?"

Why wasn't he leaving?

"Actually, that was a decoy. I had alternate motives," he admitted, scratching the back of his neck. I nodded. Oh God. Please.

"You did?"

Ugh, just walked right into it.

He nodded nervously. "Yeah, I mean, I know we just met, but I felt this real connection between us, ya know? So I was wondering, would you like to go out Friday night with me?"

I think my eyes glazed over. Connection? Yeah there was a connection, I felt it in his pants when he kept rubbing against me.

"I can't. Sorry. I'm busy."

Finally that stupid grin left his face. "Oh. Another date?" I was trying to make jokes so he could feel better. I rolled my eyes.

"No, just busy. Maybe some other time." Shit. I didn't want to say that.

He nodded. "Yeah, sure."

He went to hug me goodbye, but I ducked and pretended that I slipped.

"Oops! Sorry," I said.

He shrugged and got back into his car and drove away.

~.~

The night dragged on endlessly. After cooking dinner, I left it in the oven and finished all my homework before Charlie got home. We ate, mostly in silence, and then I pretended to be interested in the Mariner's game that was on. When it was nine o'clock, I decided that was a decent time to excuse myself. I hurried into my room and shut the door. And suddenly I was alone.

I flopped on my bed and burried my face into my pillow and cried. I thought the day would never end. But it did and the tears flowed like a river. This was a living hell, pretending to go on like everything was okay, when it really wasn't. No one understood and they didn't care. I was just some new girl they could play with.

I must have been crying for over an hour, because I noticed suddenly the lights from under my door were gone. I sat up and wiped my eyes. The same paranoia from last night washed over me. I felt like I was being watched again. So I jumped up and went to my window and opened it. It should have squeaked and made me try really hard, but it just slid on open like Charlie regularly let in a breeze. I let the cool mist clense my face as I stuck my head out. The paranoia was gone. I pulled my head in and got into my pajamas and then into bed. I fell asleep quickly tonight, and dreamed of Edward Cullen.

He was there, in my room, sitting on the edge of my bed. I sat upright in a fright, turning my bedside lamp on. He was still there, staring intently at me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, rubbing my eyes. He said nothing but reached out and carressed my face with his white fingertips.

"Please answer me."

He smiled a crooked smile, something that made my heart beat quicken. "You look just like your mother."

My eyes popped open and I sat straight up in bed, my heart still beating fast and sweat caking my hair to my face. My alarm was buzzing at me.

* * *

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	4. Friends

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Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(

**Thanks for the reviews!! I really appreciate them!! **

**So, to clear up the confusion...Edward wasn't in her room, she was dreaming. Haha, and yes, they are vampires, but you probably guessed as much.**

**Bella POV**

I rolled over groggily and slammed my hand down on my alarm. Then I flipped onto my back again and closed my eyes. How was I supposed to wake up after that dream? I let my fast-beating heart slow down and my eyelids flickered with the hope of sleep. And I was gone.

_"Wake up, Bella."_

_I smiled at the voice. I hadn't heard him talk in person, but I imagined this is what his voice sounded like. Like warm honey sliding down your throat and the tickle of a feather on my face._

_"Wake up, so I can see you at school..."_

_Edward's voice spoke to me, so clear I wouldn't have guessed I was dreaming._

_"Bells! Wake up!"_

_That wasn't Edward's voice._

My eyes flew open. Charlie was standing over me, his hand resting on my shoulder.

"You overslept. School starts in ten minutes," he said, as if it were unimportant.

I squeezed my eyes shut and pulled the covers over my face like a pathetic teenager. It felt....weird. Usually I was the one who woke up Renee when she overslept.

"Do I have to go?"

The covers disappeared from my face. "Yes. I know things are hard, but you need to get back into routine."

I glared at him. "Have you been reading parenting books?"

Charlie pulled on his belt buckle and smoothed his mustache. "Maybe."

He tried to look indifferent as he left my room. I thought about screaming, I really wanted to. There was nothing that made me want to get up, to face everyone and try to act like I was okay. But I took a deep breath and counted to ten to calm myself. Then I got out of bed.

~.~

I got to school half way into first period. The sky was warning me to get inside before it started to pour, but I took my time getting out of my truck and walking through the deserted parking lot. I watched my breath come out like smoke from my mouth and had the urge to laugh. I'd never had that happen before. So I didn't even notice when I slipped on a patch of ice and had my feet pulled out from under me. I landed flat on my back; books flying up in the air and spilling around me. I sighed and didn't move. Even thought the ground was cold and rain started to fall from the sky like tears, I just lay there, perfectly content. Nothing could have made me move at that moment.

"What are you doing?"

The voice startled me and I jumped into sitting position. Bad idea, my head throbbed and I winced.

"Huh?"

I let my vision clear just in time to see Edward Cullen standing in front of me, a look of bewilderment covering his perfect features. I blinked. His eyes were topaz today. Funny...I swore they were black.

"Are you alright?" He asked, this time wondering if I could even comprehend words. I shook my head. "No...I mean, yes. I'm fine. I just...slipped."

I looked around for my books, but they were gone. "Have you seen my-"

But my eyes stopped on his hands; they were holding my books out. "Oh. Thanks."

I stood up and dusted the ice chips off myself before meeting his eyes.

"I saw you slip, it looked nasty. And then you didn't get up so I thought I'd make sure you're okay," he said, almost as if he didn't even know why he came over here.

I carefully took the books from his hands, and like yesterday he moved to so quickly so he could avoid any contact with me.

"Thanks?" It sounded like a question. Oh God.

I blinked a few time to clear my head. "You sure you're okay?" he asked.

I nodded in amazment and started to walk when my feet caught the ice again. Before my feet could fly up a strong hand grabbed my arm and kept me from falling. It steadied me until I was off the ice. "You sure are clumsy."

He said this with amusment in his voice. Asshole.

I noticed that he was gripping me tightly. It started to sting as I wiggled my arm free. Edward dropped his hand and lowered his eyes.

"I've got to run," he said. "Bye." Then he was walking swiftly towards the front door. I stayed outside until first period was over, so I could clear my head.

~.~

"So, you know that Jessica is mad at you?" Angela asked me as we walked into the cafeteria. I shrugged. I didn't really care, Jessica seemed like the girl who was always mad at someone.

"How come?" I asked impassively.

We got into line and Angela bit her lip. "Because you're going out with Mike."

My alert systems went off when hearing his name. "_What?"_

Angela nodded and grabbed a tray. "He's been telling everyone that you too are going out and how delighted you were when he asked you yesterday. I thought I'd tell you before-"

She cut off suddenly and looked down. "Speak of the devil."

I turned around to see Jessica walking towards us. She was dressed in a tight pink dress that showed off her cleavage and white tights. But she didn't look angry.

"Jessica," Angela whispered.

Jessica ignored her completely and reached over me to grab a tray.

"So you and Mike, huh?" she asked, completely indifferent.

I sighed. "We aren't going out. I turned him down last night. I have no idea what he's talking about."

This seemed to make her eyes sparkle, but she didn't show it in her face. "Whatever. Just letting you know that he's a really bad kisser, okay? So I'd think twice if I were you."

"But I thought you said he was a really good kis-" Angela started, but was cut off by Jessica's death glare. "I mean, nevermind."

I gritted my teeth together. This is why I didn't want friends. They caused uneccessary drama. "Jessica, I didn't come here to start something, alright? I don't like Mike nor will I ever!"

I slammed my tray down and scooted past them.

"What about lunch?" Angela objected. "I'm not hungry," I muttered as I hurried out of the lunchroom.

Reality stepped in once I was outside and had the cold mist of rain greet my face. Never would I have reacted that way before my mother died. Thoughts of my mother sobered me up immediately, as they always did.

"Bella."

I jumped at the sound of my name, and then let my nose wrinkle as I recognized whose voice it was. I turned around slowly. Mike stood outside the doors.

"Mike," I said...even thought it came out as a hiss.

"I saw what happened. Ignore Jessica. We make out a few times and she thinks we're a couple?" He laughed at this, but I stayed silent.

I tried to keep my cool. "Why did you tell everyone we're going out Friday?"

He shrugged. "When you said no, I figured it was because of Jessica. So I told her and look, she was totally cool about it. So now you can say yes."

I rolled my eyes. "I said no because I don't want to go out, okay? I'm not in the mood."

I could tell that I hurt Mike's feelings, and in another world I might have felt bad, but there was no way in hell I'd go out with him.

~.~

Last year my mother relapsed in April. From then on it was in and out of the hospital. For the last half of my sophmore year, I spent all the time I wasn't in school in the hospital with her. I ditched out on movie nights with my friends, said no to geeky boys that asked to take me out. I even turned down Josh Spencer when he invited me to Prom. My mother was more important than that, she needed me. Baseball season had started so Phil had to travel a lot. I was all she had.

And one night we were watching old _Golden Girls_ episodes when she turned to me. "Why haven't you been out with the girls lately?"

I shrugged and played with the frayed edges of my sweatshirt. "Because I'm with you."

My mother smiled, wrinkles playing on the ends of her mouth. "Sweetie, just because Phil isn't here, doesn't mean I need you here all the time. You should be able to go out every once in awhile. If I get bored, I'll go talk to Agnes down the hall."

I rolled my eyes. "It's fine. They understand."

She gave me her stern 'fine-isn't-an-answer" look. "Bells, what about Prom? Isn't it tomorrow?"

A knot caught in my throat. I actually really did want to go with Josh, I even had a crush on him. But once I turned him down he stopped talking to me, and stopped looking at me.

"I said no."

Her hand carressed my cheek. "Call him. I know you liked that boy, Bella. I'll be fine for one night. I don't want you missing out on life."

I shook my head. "What if something happened, Mom? I can't, okay? Josh will understand. Besides, he already found another date."

She sighed. "Honey, you need friends."

I disagreed. When my mother relapsed, I was out with my friend Erica and my mother was home alone. It wasn't until I got home thirty minutes after curfew, trying to be sneaky, when I found her sprawled out on the floor, blood runng down her nose. If I hadn't have been late, or hadn't gone at all....

~.~

"Would you like to dance with me?" Mike asked, holding out his hand. I wrinkled my nose and sidestepped past him.

"No."

He rolled his eyes. "Just no? Come on, I won't ask out again, okay?"

"That's now upgraded to hell no."

Jessica brushed past him. "Jessica? Wanna dance?" he asked, sounding desparate. She snorted. "Hell no."

She went back to the cute guy from yesterday. Mike was forced to dance with a girl across the room, picking her nose on the sly.

Angela and I stiffled out giggles as Mike made a gagging face.

"Would you like to dance?"

My laughing stopped as I looked up into Edward Cullen's eyes.

* * *

**Dun Dun Dun....haha. More Edward was asked, and more Edward was recieved. Review please! :)**


	5. Crash

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Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(

**Wow, the reviews bumped up some! That makes me so happy!! I'm updating fast, like you all want, and because I just feel like writing these days...but anyways, it's a win win!**

**Enjoy :)**

**Bella POV**

I gulped silently as he stood there, expectantly looking into my eyes. I was lost in his; they were like liquidy topaz, shimmering in the fluorescent lighting. Everything around me blurred out until it was just me and him.

"Bella?"

I blinked. What just happened? "Uhm...what?"

He cleared his throat, doubting my abilities to speak, once again.

"I said, would you like to dance?" There was hesitancy in his voice the second time around. I turned to look at Angela. Her mouth gaped open, forming an O shape. I bit my lip and she broke from her trance and urged me forward like it was a huge honor.

And it was. Almost the whole class was watching us. So I nodded.

"S-sure."

He held out his hand, satisfied by my studdering, and smirked. I noticed then his sister, Alice, standing the corner. She was watching us carfully, a look of disappointment in her eyes. I ignored it and placed my hand in his. I was shocked at how cold his hands were, like he'd been holding them in ice water. He seemed to notice my discomfort and loosened his grip, much to my disappointment.

"I have to warn you, I'm a terrible dancer," I admitted, blushing hard. He chuckled.

"I know."

I looked up at him, surpirsed at how he thought it was funny. "I saw you with Newton yesterday, looked like a struggle on both ends. I'm surprised he didn't just jump you right then and there."

I glared at him. "It's not funny."

Edward's smile left his face. "I'm sorry, that was rude of me."

I shrugged and tried to concentrate on my feet so I wouldn't trip. "Ready to try a combination now?" he asked patiently.

"No," I said. "Just a few more practice steps."

His hand suddenly tightened on my back was Mike danced near us. He swiftly danced us closer Alice. Once he saw the disappointment on her face, he smirked again and winked in her direction. I tried to not notice.

"So," Edward said, "how do you like Forks?"

"I hate it."

He chuckled darkly. "Wow, blunt."

I blushed again. "I just mean, it's cold and it rains, the two things I hate the most."

This seemed to make him uneasy. "So you aren't happy here?"

I rolled my eyes. "The one thing that would make me happy is gone, so I'd say yes, I'm very unhappy."

Edward's sharp features seemed to soften slightly. "I'm very sorry about your mother. Losing a parent is something no one should have to go through."

I remembered that Jessica said he was adopted. I couldn't stop myself. "What happened to your parents? I mean, I heard you were adopted." I instantly wanted to take that back. Was it weird I knew that about him?

But it didn't phase him. "They died, when I was very young."

"I'm sorry."

Edward very discretely led us into a combination. "Don't apologize, it wasn't your fault."

I wanted to take that back too. I hated it when people said they were sorry to me. It meant nothing. There was nothing they could do about my mother, so why were they sorry?

We danced silently for the rest of the song and then parted awkwardly. Jessica practically sprinted to where I stood.

"Oh my God! You just danced with Edward Cullen!" She gushed. No way!

"What was it like?" Angela asked.

I peeked past their shoulders and saw him whispering to Alice. She looked at him sourly and stuck her tongue out.

"Oh uhm, good, I guess."

"I can't believe he asked _you_!" Jessica said, clearly jealous. I tried to not let that comment get to me.

~.~

After school I hurried out to my car once again. This time, however, I stayed in the hearing distance of Edward and Alice.

_"I told you it wouldn't kill you! You did fine!" _Alice hissed, with an odd satisfaction on her face. He rolled his eyes.

_"She noticed, Alice. She noticed something was different. Maybe I'm over my head, maybe last night didn't solve anything."_ But then he grinned.

_"At least I won the bet, pay up."_

Bet? So that's what was going on. She bet that he wouldn't dance with me. I didn't even follow for the rest. I just picked up my pace and shoved right past them, making sure my shoulder struck his, which was stupid because his was rock hard and I was going to have a bruise.

I ignored when they tried to say something to me and got right into my truck and slammed the door shut. I felt my eyes sting with tears. Of course he didn't really want to dance with me, it's not like I was even remotely on the same league with him, but it still hurt to be played like that. Stupidly rushed my head at ever thinking I might have a chance with him. I pulled out quickly and then shifted into drive. I pressed hard on the accelerator and saw Edward standing a few cars down, watching me with a horrified expression on his face. I wondered why he looked that way and then looked up in front of me. Another car was driving right towards me, and my foot was still on the accelerator. I slammed on the break but it was too late.

Blackness clouded over me.

~.~

_"Bella? Bella sweetie. Open your eyes for Mommy."_

_And I did. My mother was looking down on me, her caramel colored hair flowing around her face as her gray-blue eyes and smiled down at me. I suddenly felt like I was six years old...and I was! I was laying on the sand, ocean water licking at my toes. It was the summer I was in Florida with her, and we were on the beach. I had snuck off and fallen asleep down by the water and my mom got scared and thought I was gone._

_"There's my good girl. Why did you run off from me?"_

_Disapproval colored her tone, but she was still smiling. She could never stay mad at me. I giggled and sat up, covering my eyes with my hand from the blinding sun._

_And then the dream was over. Instead I saw only black, but I heard voices; urgent voices._

_"Bella? Oh my God! She's dead! Mike she's dead!"_

_It was Jessica. Was she actually crying?_

_"Bella wake up! Open your eyes!"_

_Who was that? "I called the ambulance, it's coming!"_

_"Someone get a teacher!"_

_"I swear to God she's dead! I can't watch!"_

_"Is that blood?"_

_Blood?!_

_And then another voice that blurred out all the rest._

_"Bella, can you hear me?"_

_It was sweet, just like honey. "Dammit, open your eyes! Don't die on me!"_

_I heard sirens in the background. Someone was cradeling me in their arms because it was soft and comfortable, like when my mother used to hold me. Only this person was cold and hard...but still comforting somehow. I knew who it was._

~.~

_"Is she okay?"_

_"For the last time, I promise you she's okay. But you won't be after Rosalie gets done with you tonight."_

_"I don't care what Rosalie thinks. Was I supposed to let her die? You know I couldn't do that."_

_"I know, I know. But it was risky, Edward."_

_I could feel definite tension around me._

_"I made a promise, Carlisle. And now there's no going back."_

_My eyelids fluttered and opened._

The room was blurry at first, but then it cleared and it was so bright I squinted. The light dimmed enough for me to open them again. I was laying in a bed with white sheets and a baby blue blanket. Edward stood at the foot of my bed, relief coloring his face. Next to him was a doctor. He was pale and gorgeous. Blond locks covered his head and he had the same topaz eyes as Edward. There was no way this model could be his adoptive father.

"Isabella, I'm glad you're awake," the doctor said.

"Bella," I automatically corrected. Edward smirked.

He came over to me and started pressing at my head and checking my eyes. I winced as he pressed on my right temple.

"Ouch."

He sighed. "Looks like you got a hard hit."

My whole body ached, like I fell off a skyscraper and then got stepped on.

"What happened?"

The doctor, Carlisle, turned to Edward. "You got hit head on by another car. Didn't anyone tell you it's not safe to go 20 mph in a parking lot?"

I glared at him. "Didn't anyone tell you it's not nice to make bets about people you don't know?"

His sarcastic eyes turned serious then. "You have no idea what you're talking about."

"Edward," Carlisle warned.

The exhanged a silent conversation before Carlisle left the room to get Charlie.

"So I got hit by a car? And...you were there," I said, suddenlly remembering him holding me. He nodded cautiously.

"I was the first to you," he said. "I saw the whole thing. You were both going so fast, and it happened before anyone could blink. I pulled you from the car before it could pin you against the car behind you. You could have died, Bella."

I looked down at all the tubes running through my body. It was sickening. I felt like my mother.

"Why did you come for me if you don't even like me? You don't even know me."

But the way he looked at me was like he _did_ know me, that was the scary part. "Bella, I never said I didn't like you. Maybe if you didn't assume so much. Alice just bet that I wouldn't have the courage to ask you, and I did. It was nothing rude towards you. And you just wanted me to sit there, the closest person, and not do anything?"

But he wasn't the closest person. I swear there was someone right next to my car when we collided. I _swear_ it.

Instead I shook my head. I couldn't argue right now. "Okay, whatever. What promise were you talking to your dad about? I heard it."

And just like that, his face went smooth and expressionless. "I have no idea what you're saying. You were unconscious for so long, you probably dreamt that."

I gritted my teeth. "No, I distinctly heard you say-"

"Bella! Thank God!"

I turned to see Charlie burst through the door and throw his arms around me. I peeked around him to see Edward slip out the doors.

* * *

**Ooo...and the plot thickens!!! Reviews please! :)**


	6. Secrets and Lies

**Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(**

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**Enoys as always!**

**Bella POV**

"Easy, easy there Bells..."

Charlie kept a firm grip on me as I stepped from the cruiser. Dr. Cullen released me the next day, after I found out the full extremities of my injuries. I had a sprained wrist (nothing that wouldn't go away in two weeks), cuts and scratches everywhere, bruising, a huge gash on my head that was healing, and stitches above my left eyebrow. It could have been worse. At least my truck wasn't damaged, that stupid tank of a car.

It literally took him five minutes just to get me to the front door. I was't _that_ bad.

"Dad, I have school. I can't miss another day."

He had also been trying to get me to miss the rest of the week. I'd only been there two days and now he wanted me to miss the rest? I'd already missed Wednesday, I couldn't miss tomorrow too.

"Bells, you aren't in good condition. Dr. Cullen agrees with me on this one," he said in his "final" voice.

I gritted my teeth. If I wasn't lying to myself, I'd be going so I could see Edward again. I hadn't seen him since yesterday in the hospital and I was dying to talk to him. He was so mysterious and I knew there was more to him that met the eye. But of course, I had to tell myself it was for education. I couldn't be attached to this po-dunk town. There was a reason my mother left with me all those years ago when I was three.

We finally made it to the door and Charlie was busy unlocking it when a sleek, silver Volvo pulled up. My heart started beating immediately as Edward Cullen got out of the car, holding some papers in his hands. He kicked the door shut and pushed a small button on his keychain that locked it and beeped twice.

"Edward! What brings you here?" Charlie asked, pushing the door open. Edward smirked in my direction.

"Just bring Bella her homework. My father said she wouldn't be back until Monday."

"Not if I can help it," I muttered under my breath. Edward chuckled as if he could here me perfectly. He followed us inside and Charlie helped me onto the couch, even though my legs were perfectly able to move without him. Edward sat down on the chair opposite to me as Charlie disappeared into the kitchen.

"Thanks," I said, motioning to my homework.

He nodded, suddenly not so friendly anymore. Well then, if that's how it was.

"Why were you glaring at me on Monday?" I asked, acid evident in my voice. I could play dirty too.

This seemed to take him by surprise. His hands clenched into fists as window blew my hair through the open window.

"I wasn't. You just looked...familiar. Like a girl I used to know," he said.

I suddenly remember my dream. "My mother?"

Edward looked at me strangely. "No, I've never met your mother. Why would you say that?"

"No reason," I said, shaking my head disappointingly. "What about that secret? And don't make up some bull answer either." This seemed to entertain and piss him off all at the same time.

"There is no secret. I told you, you were unconcious for a long time."

I flashed back to when he was holding me. It was so comforting, and he was so gentle with me. "You held me."

It came out more like a revelation, but something in his face changed. "Yeah...the ground was wet and cold."

But this wasn't sarcastic like he usually spoke.

My trance broke suddenly. "I'm sorry. We don't even know each other. This must be weird for you."

But it wasn't weird to me. It was like I've known him my whole life.

"Listen, Bella, I have to tell you someth-"

"Here's some tea!" Charlie said, bursting into the room. I jumped a little, realizing how tense I'd been.

"Tell me what?" I asked.

Edward took the tea politely, but never drank. "Nothing, it was nothing."

I cupped my hands around the warm mug and stared him down. Charlie sat next to me and looked lost.

"I...I have to go."

Edward stood and let himself out suddenly.

"Hmm...strange kid, but nice enough," Charlie murmured.

~.~

The night was filled with endless boredom, thanks to the painkillers I was on. It is literally impossible to sleep while on loratab and ibuprofen. So I sat up reading my old diary from when Mom was in the hospital. I never slept at night then either, and it was a way to pass the time and let out my secrets without really letting them out. It brought back so much sadness to me, seeing the words of pain drift from page to page. Each time I wrote out a small prayer for my mother, but that never did any good. Maybe it was because I'd never been religious so I wasn't doing it right. Or maybe it wasn't meant to be.

_November 12_

_2:49 AM_

_Mom isn't getting better. The new experiemental drugs just made her even more sick, and her white blood cell count isn't rising. She is so sickly, only skin and bone. Mom doesn't even look like she used to. All her brown hair is gone, the brightness of her blue eyes have turned gray and everything is wasting away on her. _

_She's dying. The doctors keep telling me, she keeps telling me, I keep telling myself. So why can't I believe it? I don't want it to be true. I can't imagine living without her. She's all I have now. And she's going to die. My mother can't beat it this time, and there's nothing I can do to fix it. I'm useless. I might as well die with her. I wish I could. I wish-_

I had to stop. Tears were falling from my eyes and smudging the ink on the page. I slammed it shut and hurled it across the room until the small book hit the wall and fell to the ground, spilling open. I pulled my knees up and buried my bruised face in them and let the sobs come out again. I was starting to think I'd never _not_ cry at night. I could compose myself in the day, but like an alarm, the tears came at night.

And like I did every night, I wished that I had something to live for.

I gave up on the crying bit after an hour and looked at the clock. It was only 1:15 and I was wide awake. I sighed and pulled the stack of papers Edward brought by from my table. I let them spill on the bed in front of me and shifted through. How did he know all my classes? If that wasn't weird enough, there was a small folded up piece of paper at the bottom. I unfolded it to see his elegant script.

_Bella, I know all this may seem odd to you, but it would be best if you didn't speak to anyone about what's happened between us. It would also be best if we didn't speak anymore. It's just better that way. -Edward_

I read the note three times before letting it slip through my fingers. Of course. He was trying to be a hero and now that I'm fine, he was just dropping me. I was nothing to him, and I never was. Were all guys such asses! I crumpled up the paper and threw it over by my diary. I wanted to scream, but Charlie was sleeping in the next room. So I instead shoved all the papers off my bed and let them fly to the ground before laying down. I fell asleep faster than I thought.

I dreamt of my mother, but it wasn't a mystical made up dream. It was a memory from four months before my mother died.

_I was sitting at the top of the stairs, listening to my mother speak to Phil. They were fighting. I hugged my knees to my chest, feeling uneasy. Mom had just finished chemo and wasn't strong._

_"...just let it go! It's not a big deal!" my mother pleaded._

_"Big deal? You've been keeping this from me Renee! You have let this go on for almost eighteen years!" Phil thundered. I could practically feel the steam from his ears._

_"Phil, please. Please just understand! Bella will always be taken care of this way..."_

_"I can take care of Bella! She's practically been my daughter for the past five years!"_

_I could hear my mother start to sob. What did she mean "taken care of"?_

_"Renee, sweetie, please don't cry."_

_"I'm not going to be here forever, I'm dying, Phil. When Bella goes to live with Charlie...I just need to know that my daughter will be protected and safe. That's it, and she will be."_

_My heart dropped._

_That was the first time I realized that my mother was dying, and that I would have to come live here eventually. I left and missed the rest of the conversation._

~.~

"Dad?"

Charlie turned around from his frying pan and looked at me like I was five years old again. I was sitting at the kitchen table with my legs folded Indian-style.

"Yes Bells?"

I bit my lip, unsure how to go about this. "Before Mom died, she told Phill that when I came here, I would be protected and taken care of, but it made him upset. He acted like it was some big secret, that it was going on for eighteen years...?"

I let my voice trail off into a question. He had to know, surely. But he shrugged. "You're mother was sick, I'm sure she wasn't in her right mind. She probably just meant that I would take care of you and protect you, me being Chief of Police and all."

But I knew he didn't have a clue. So I dropped it and stirred my cereal. I felt like there was some big secret that my mother knew that I don't. It's not like she left me any ideas or even a letter to find out. When she died I tore about the house, looking for a letter she might have written or something....but she never did. Instead I took her small chest on her dresser and filled it with her most prized personal possessions and things she loved.

It's been sitting on a shelf in my closet untouched ever since.

* * *

**Kind of short, sorry! But reviews are still much appreciated!**


	7. Conversation

**Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(**

**Thanks again for the fantastic reviews! I'm glad you all are so anxious for the secrets to come out!! Too bad we're only on chapter 6!! And Jacob will be included later on, for all of you who are wondering! ;)**

**Bella POV**

When Friday morning rolled around, I was so happy to go back to school that I had almost forgotten the note Edward left me. But I remembered it as soon as I pulled in the parking lot and parked two cars down from him. He was lounging against his stupidly nice car, chatting with his swimsuit model sister, the blond bitchy one. Actually, he was glaring at her while she was yelling at him. I made sure my door slammed extra loud as I walked straight for him. I wasn't even two feet behind her when the girls back stiffened and she turned. I'd never been more scared of a look in my life.

"Do you mind?" She hissed. I fought back to urge to gulp.

"No, I don't mind actually."

Her upper lip twitched, like she was about to bare her teeth at me. I shivered.

"Okay, calm down Rosalie."

Edward came between us and smirked at me. "You're looking better today. How's the head?"

Why was I so obsessed with this ass? He was so rude, but there was something beneath the surface, something just drew me in. I had to know him. It was like I was being pulled to him, and no matter how hard I tried, the wires holding me couldn't break.

Rosalie daintily stomped on his foot with her stiletto and walked away.

"What do you want?" he asked, suddenly serious and displeased with my coming up to him in public.

I tightened my grip on my bag. "Nothing, I just want to talk. That's it."

Edward stared me down, clearly questioning my motives. "Really?"

I sighed. Why was he so difficult, _all the time_! Apparently my bad mood amused him. He started laughing.

"_What?_"

The acid in my voice stopped him short. "Sorry, you're just kind of hilarious when you're frustrated."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh spare me. Can we just talk, at lunch today? Or is that asking too much?"

But he didn't get to answer me. Shrieking voices entered our ears and I turned to see Jessica hurrying towards me, her pack of minions following close behind.

"Oh Bella! We were so worried about you!" she gushed, throwing her arms around me and cutting off my air supply. I peeked at Edward over her shoulder, he smirked again and then walked off. Great.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. It's okay," I whispered with no emotion. She finally let go and dozens of arms were patting me and smoothing my hair. Voices from all around cooed and talked about how much they missed me. Only Angela stood awkwardly off to the side, looking like they were all idiots. Bless her.

"Come on, we simply _must_ walk to class together! Have you finished reading _Romeo and Juliet_? Such a snooze fest, I know...."

I tuned her out as she looped her arm in mine and walked me to English.

~.~

English seemed to drag on for hours. I don't think two minutes went by without my eyes constantly checking the clock, willing it to be lunchtime. Jessica kept whispering to me, trying to get me to laugh at some stupid joke Mike told her.

"_Pssst! Psssssssssst! BELLA!"_

But I ignored her and continued digging my blue pen deeper into the paper of my notebook until I had a hole that went through every sheet. And during lonley times like these, I thought about my mother. I knew I should have been trying to accept it and move on, but I couldn't. Accepting the fact that my mother was dead was like accepting the sky to be purple. She was always on my thoughts, constantly everyday...except when I was with Edward. And that worried me. The thought of going blank everytime I saw him scared me to death. It wasn't the kind of scared like he would hurt me, but the scared that I was falling into something I had no idea about.

A strange idea played at the edge of my mind that I might like him, but I tried very hard to not think of that. There was something about him I didn't know, and I _needed_ to know.

"Miss Swan? Perhaps you'd share your insight with us?"

I looked up at my teacher, Mr. Charleston, as he sat on the edge of his desk with his arms folded and his eyes on me. The whole room shifted so that I was center of attention. This whole assignment on _Romeo and Juliet _was ridiculous, I read the play back in ninth grade.

"What was the question again?" I asked, biting my lip. I could only guess...

_What is the main theme of the play?_

_How did Shakespeare portray the infatuation of Rosalind and Romeo?_

_Blah blah blah._

"How do you think Juliet's mother affected her, especially during the scene where she is in her room with her Nurse?"

I stopped cold. What the hell did this have to do with the play?

"She was her mother, she affected her in every way," I said indifferently with an annoyed shrug. Mr. Charleston seemed disappointed.

"That's it? I must say, I was expecting more from you."

He was not saying that to me. I cleared my throat. I'd show him.

"Her mother must have had little effect on her. Juliet ran off with Romeo, completely disregarding her parents wishes and acted selfishly for her own immediate gratification. Her mother should have been there for her, someone Juliet could have talked to. Her mother was supposed to always take care of her and make sure nothing bad happened to her. She was supposed to never leave her side and she promised her!" I could feel myself veering away from the actual topic, but I couldn't stop myself. My eyes filled with tears as my voice grew higher, but I couldn't stop. "Her mother let her down in every way possible! And then she died! How do you think she felt then! The one person she always looked out for was dead! Her life was useless! She had no reason for living!"

I stopped suddenly with a sharp intake of breath. I was ten seconds from sobbing and losing control. I went too far. The whole class was staring at me. Some had looks of sympathy, others thought I was a freak of nature. But what got me was Edward Cullen standing in the doorway, a stack of papers in his hands. His topaz eyes were wide and his face was covered with empathy. He looked like he just wanted to hold me. And I wanted to run to him suddenly, and let him hold me. I looked down, embarrassed. Edward handed some slips of paper to Mr. Charleston and walked swiftly out without looking back. Mr. Charleston cleared his throat.

"Bella...do you need a moment?"

I nodded and quickly gathered my things before hurrying outside. I let the cool mist of the rain wash my face clean of tears. The books slid from my fingertips to the ground as I sat down, back against the wall. I closed my eyes and let the tears roll down my face.

"That was quite a speech."

I gasped and let my eyes shoot open. Edward was standing in front of me, but he wasn't amused. His face was completely blank. But I didn't say anything. Instead, he sat down beside me.

"I try, everyday I try, but I can't forget it. It's in my essence now, my mother is."

He nodded. "When my parents died, it was the worst day of my life. To be sick in the hospital with them and having a nurse come in to tell my they were dead...I almost begged her to just kill me. But it was so long ago, like in a past lifetime. I hardly remember them now, Carlisle and Esme have been my parents now longer than they were, and in a way that is how I think of them. Of course I'll never forget my parents, but it's just something I've had to live with."

I looked over at him, rain sparkling in his hair. He was so beautiful. "Why don't you want to be friends? What was with that note?"

Edward almost looked ashamed now. "I just....I don't know. I thought it would be better, but I just can't stay away from you Bella. It's like I'm drawn to you."

I thought he was joking, because that's how I felt. I'd only been in Forks a week, and it felt like I'd known this strange boy for years. But as I looked in his eyes, they were dead serious. "Why would you think being friends was bad?"

His thoughtful, golden eyes darkened suddenly and his lip quivered. I could see that his hands had been fists the whole time, white skin pulled over thin bone.

"Just, because it's a bad idea."

The beating of my heart increased. I felt that sudden danger like that first night in the woods. My hair prickled on my spine. But I swallowed.

"Why? Does your family not like me? They don't even know me," I said.

Edward laughed painfully. "No...I'm just not..." He seemed to struggle for words, and then he found one. "Good. I'm just not good."

I instantly wanted to put my hand over his, he seemed so upset by this. But I stopped myself, reminded by the close distance he always kept with me. "You are good, it's impossible any other way. You _saved_ my life, despite the fact that I don't know how."

He laughed. "You would have died."

I scratched my neck uncomfortably, realizing how I'd wished for death over and over, and then I was rescued out of my chance.

"I wasn't grateful that you saved me, you know," I whispered, and then wondered if that sounded weird. Edward lifted his eyes to mine, and they were filled with pain again. "I wanted to die, and when the cars hit, it was almost peaceful, like a weight was lifted off me. And then I woke up and I was in this room...and I was so angry, especially at you. And then I realized that I _was_ glad you saved me."

He seemed to stare at me for an eternity. His perfect marble lips were parted ever so slightly, and all I wanted to do was touch my lips to his. To feel that smoothness on me.

"Who do I remind you of?"

Edward jumped as I broke his trance. "What?"

"Who do I remind you of? You said I looked like a girl you knew once," I asked.

He sighed. "Oh yes. It just a girl I knew and I became very close with, but that was ages ago."

I bit my lip carefully. "What happened to her?" I whispered.

He looked down and rolled a thread from his shirt in his fingers.

"She died."

* * *

**Ooo...getting intimate here! And yes, I know this sounds kind of like Vampire Diaries, I just realized that, but it's nothing close to it so don't worry! Leave some love :)**


	8. Lunch

**Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(**

**Wow, thanks so much to those who reviewed :) I really do enjoy reading them :)**

**ENJOY!!**

**Bella POV**

That stopped me cold. I wasn't expecting that response.

"Oh...I-I, I didn't mean to-"

But he stopped me. "It's okay. Death is just something you learn to live with, you know?"

The way Edward talked sounded like he's seen a lot of deaths in his life. Awkward silence filled the air and the rain started to fall harder.

"Did you love her?"

I almost didn't want to know the answer. Lost lover, of course he didn't want me. Seeing me probably hurt him.

But he laughed. "Of course, I mean, not that I was _in_ love with her, but I loved her, more like my family. I didn't see her all too much though, but we spoke every once in awhile, that is until she died." The way he spoke wasn't like he was still dwelling on the pain, but more like it was a fact that he had come to live with. I wish I could have been like that, not afraid to speak about my mother.

I wanted to ask how long she'd been dead, if this was recent or just something of the past. But that was too personal, and I couldn't upset him anymore. "It must be hard to see me then, huh?"

Edward's eyes grew distant, as if he were looking past me. "Sometimes, but it's a happy reminder of her. I mean, you are completely different than her. She was like the sun, warm and radiant. She could always make me smile." He laughed, perhaps at a memory they shared.

I looked down at my pale hands. Maybe that was why. I wasn't anything like that. I wasn't happy or warm, I couldn't make people smile. I was plain and boring and depressing. The bell rung suddenly and I got to my feet.

"I have to go to class now."

I started walking quickly, not wanting to face him. But he called out my name. I stopped and turned.

"We'll still have lunch together, right?"

He looked hopeful, like grasping on the edge of a cliff. My stomach lurched with indecision. "Sure."

But he looked unsure...and so did I.

~.~

The rest of the day past very uneventfully, except Jessica and Mike fawning over how terrible it was to see me crying in class and blah blah blah. I ignored them mostly and focused on the knot in my stomach. Would lunch be awkward after our little heart-to-heart session? Maybe he'd skip out...or maybe I should? Maybe he thought he was too forward and would go back to being a recluse and not opening up to me. My heart was thrumming with excitement-or panic?- as I entered the cafeteria. Jessica practically had to drag me to the line as my eyes swept over the room for Edward. I sighed in relief when he was there, sitting by himself at a table in the corner, no food in front of him. He smiled widely when he saw me and waved. I was completely drawn aback, I'd never seen him smile like that before, that perfect crooked smile. Usually he was sarcastic, but now he looked genuinely happy to see _me._

"Why is Edward Cullen waving to you?" Jessica asked.

I was pulled from my trance as she stared me down, her brown eyes piercing me like a laser. I tried to think of something that would make sense to her, but I pulled a blank. Then I realized she sounded personally insulted by Edward waving to me and that she was honestly appalled he liked me at all. I could care less what Jessica thought and quite frankly it was none of her business.

"Why does it matter?" I retorted icily before walking over to his table.

His smile seemed to turn more devious and that meant he either heard our conversation- which was impossible- or Jessica was giving me a death glare. Either way...it felt good to actually say what was on my mind instead of trying to please people.

"Is this seat taken?" I asked teasingly as I sat down. He shrugged. "Not anymore."

I noticed he suddenly had an apple which he was tossing between his hands. "No food?"

He rolled the apple to me. "Thought you'd be hungry."

I rolled it back. "No, not really. Why don't you ever eat?"

"Why don't _you_ever eat?" he said back. I narrowed my eyes and took the apple and eyed it purposefully before taking a large bite out of it. A small dribble of juice trickled down my chin. I lifted my hand to wipe it, but a pale, cold hand had already reached and finished the job. I froze instantly and Edward's hand flew back into place. My face turned beet red.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

We both looked down instantly, unsure of how to act. My fingers closed and I felt the cool band of my mother's pearl ring**(picture in profile)** against my palm. I nervously started twirling it around my pointer finger like I always did. It belonged to my Gram who passed it down to my mother who didn't exactly give to me, but I took if off her finger during the viewing when no one was looking. I knew she would have wanted me to have it.

"Jessica looks like she wants to kill you...and me."

His cool voice brought my eyes back to his. They weren't as topazy today, but more of a hazel, darker than the two days ago when I'd last seen them. I could have gotten lost in his eyes. They were full of swirls...and I swear if I stared hard enough, I could see hints of deep emerald in the very core of them...but maybe I was hallucinating.

"Bella?"

I blinked. "Oh, yeah. She's jealous that you don't talk to her."

He snort. "Please. That girl needs to get her head together, I can't keep up with all-"

I titled my head, wondering what he was getting at. "I mean, she's just all over the place, and such a gossip."

My head turned so I could barely see Jessica. She was pouting at the end of the table. Mike was next to her, trying to shoot lasers at Edward's face.

"Yeah, and Mike wants to kill you out of jealousy."

Edward laughed. "Jealousy huh?"

I could tell he was purposefully smirking at Mike to get a rise out of him. "Stop it! Do you want him to start a fight with you?"

He rolled his eyes. "Please, Mike Newton? He wouldn't stand a chance against me."

I looked at him skeptically. "You and Mike are the same height."

Edward leaned in close and motioned for me to do the same. I felt my heart go crazy over our close proximity.

"Wanna hear a secret?"

I nodded anxiously.

"I'm stronger than Mike Newton, but don't let anyone know." He whispered with a wink.

I pulled back and grimaced. Edward's face suddenly went calm and expressionless. "Why did you say no when Mike asked you out?"

The question was so random that it stunned me completely. I had no idea how to answer this.

"Because I didn't want to go out with him?" But it sounded like a question. Edward's eyes were dark, a warning. I shivered at his intense stare.

"You should say yes to guys like Mike. They're good for you, the kind of people you _should_ be eating lunch with," he said.

This hurt, despite the fact that I knew Edward wanted to be friends. He was letting me down easy, that much I knew.

I bit my lip. "But...I don't_ want_ guys like Mike. That average teenage boy thing, kind of annoying." I didn't want him to hear the plead in my voice to stay friends with me. I could feel myself longing for him suddenly. I felt so close and the thought of him just pulling away killed me. He could sense it too because his face changed immediately.

"Bella, I'm not going to just ditch you, okay?"

My hands rested anxiously on top of the table, only inches from his. I saw his pale fingers twitch and prayed he would cover mine with his...but he didn't. But his eyes were soft again, and loving almost. The way he looked at me made my heart go wild. I'd never felt this way before. Ever. I didn't even know him...but I felt like it. We just had this connection.

"Bella..."

Edward's voice was strained now and he was looking down, like he couldn't figure out how to speak.

"Yes?"

I bit the inside of my lip hopefully.

"There's something I really need to tell you. I've been trying to say it, but I don't know how to go about it. It doesn't even make sense but-"

"Edward!"

Dammit! Why does someone _always_ interupt us!

We both turned to see his blond sister standing next to our table, her arms crossed and a nasty glare directed at me.

"We have to go. _Now._" She sounded urgent, like it was more than just getting him away from me.

"You have to go?" I repeated.

He sighed and nodded. "The weather is getting warm so we're leaving early to go camping this weekend."

I couldn't help but feel disappointed. "You'll be gone all weekend?"

Edward nodded again and looked sad as he stood up. I could see the rest of his family leave the cafeteria quickly, but still extremely gracefully. He turned to go, but paused and turned back to me.

"Just, promise me one thing?"

"Anything!"

Crap...that sounded desperate.

He chuckled. "Try to stay out of trouble. No car accidents, okay?"

I nodded stupidly and then watched him leave too. It felt like he took a piece of me with him.

* * *

**Short I know! But sweet...? Yes? Just thought I'd get this out here because I haven't had much writing time lately!! Leave some love!!**


	9. Rage

**Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(**

**Yes I know, I need to update faster!! But I can't!! I wish I had more time...I really do want to write! But thanks for being so loyal!!**

**I hope this doesn't sound bad haha, it's very late at night and I'm in my face mask...so it may sound loopy, hopefully not :P**

**Bella POV**

I spent the whole weekend locked in the house, watching the sun shine and thinking about Edward. Where was he? What was he doing? Was he thinking about me too?

Friday after school I drove home with a clouded head. Edward was trying to tell me something, that much I knew for sure. But what was it that made him so nervous and tongue-tied? He never got that way. Ever. This had to be huge. Like some secret no one knew. Well, why would he even tell me then? I was no one. A week ago he didn't even know I existed.

It got me thinking of how fast I was falling for him. I didn't even know him and I was falling. I'd never fallen for anyone like this before. I got home and started my homework before realizing it was Friday. I snorted and pushed it away. That could wait for Sunday. But in doing that I realized I had nothing else to do. This was my first weekend in months where I had nothing to do.

Last weekend I was in Arizona packing. The weekend before that I was arranging the funeral. And all those weekends before that I was in the hospital with my mother. I didn't know what free time was.

So I got up and cleaned my room. I put away all the clothes I'd tossed on the floor and dusted every shelf and nook. I finished unpacking from the last two suitcases I'd shoved under my bed, which mostly contained books and small knick-knacks from around the Arizona house. But when I pulled the chest from my closet, I couldn't bring myself to open it. It held all my mother's favorite things. Sure I'd tossed in a few after she died, but I'd never gone through it myself. I couldn't bare it. It would open up all the things I'd held down and kept hidden. I couldn't let myself lose control and freak out again. I had to accept this.

So I placed it in the middle of the shelf above my desk and layed on my floor, staring at it, for three hours. Charlie still wasn't home, and I knew he'd be another hour or two. I was bored out of my mind. Then I got the idea to start laundry. I gathered mine in a basket and then searched out Charlie's surprisingly clean room for his dirty clothes. That was when I came across the letter. It was opened on his nightstand, slightly tucked under his alarm clock. I set the basket down and unfolded it to see my mother's neat script. My heart sped up and I let my eyes wander.

_February 20_

_Dear Charlie,_

_I know these are the worst circumstances to finally speak with you, but my time is running out. I know that you know, and I also know that you're prepared to take Bella when the time comes. It could be any day now. I'm not asking much, just-_

I dropped the letter. She wrote Charlie a letter. She wrote him a letter a week before she died. She didn't even _tell_me she wrote the Goddamn letter! My hands shook. She didn't even write me a letter! I knew because I tore the house up after she died in one of my crazy fits. Phil even thought about sending me away because I'd gone ballistic. But she didn't even write me a letter, and she wrote Charlie one.

I kicked the laundry basket as hard as I could and watching clothes fly through the air. Tears spilled down my face as I ran into my room and locked the door. I could fill my rage. The rage of such _agony_ that anger went through my mind. This was what it was like after she died. I couldn't handle it.

I pushed everything off my desk and screamed out in fury.

"_It's not fair!_"

I tore the sheets off my bed and threw them the best I could at the wall. I took each book off the shelves and threw them one by one at my door and kept screaming. More tears came from my eyes until I couldn't even see what I was doing. Then I went for all the stupid picture frames of me as a child and threw them too. One of them shattered in my hand, but I hardly noticed the blood running down my arm. I just kept throwing and I kept screaming.

_"Why did she leave me! She couldn't even write me a letter! She didn't even care enough!"_

Feathers from my pillows paraded down like a dream. I was caught in a nightmare that I couldn't escape. I had nothing. I couldn't even stay sane for a week without losing it.

_"Stupid Mike! And bitchy Jessica! And that good-for-nothing, lying, mysterious, asshole Edward!"_

One final scream erupted from my lips before my door finally burst open. Charlie had me firmly in his arms. I thrashed and screamed and even tried biting him, but he held on tight and restrained my hands.

"Bella! Calm down. It's just me! Bella, it's okay!"

He had to shout so I could hear him through my yelling.

"She didn't write me a letter!" I yelled again. "She left me. Why did she have to leave me!"

My energy was fading and I collapsed against Charlie. We both slowly sank to the ground until he had me wrapped tightly in his arms and was rocking me back and forth whispering _Shhhh._

"Your mother loved you so much Bella! Don't think for one second she left you by choice."

But it still wasn't fair. I lost my whole world in five minutes. I wasn't prepared and I couldn't handle it.

~.~

I don't remember Charlie cleaning up the blood on my arm or bandaging the cut. I don't remember him changing me into pajamas or cleaning my room for me. I don't even remember being tucked in or having my forehead kissed. But I do remember my dream.

_I was sitting on the beach. The sun was out and waves were splashing gently at my feet. They were the perfect aquamarine color. And for the first time in a long time, I felt truly happy. Everything was content._

_"Bella!"_

_I jerked around the see a shadowed figure in the forest behind me. Even thought I couldn't see, I knew it was Edward._

_"Come out here!" I called with a warm smile._

_"Come over here Bella!"_

_Irritated by him making me leave the sun, I stomped into the cover of the thick trees. He was tired looking and serious._

_"I need to talk to you," he said._

_I found myself walking even closer. He was so beautiful._

_"What is it?"_

_I let my hand run down his smooth face. "You can tell my anything..."_

_But he never spoke. Instead I found myself pushed up against a tree, his body pressing mine. This was what I wanted, I knew that, but why did it feel dangerous? Scary?_

_"Don't move..."he hissed._

_Edward's sparkling teeth drew closer to mine. My heart raced at the realization he was actually going to kiss me. His lips slowly brushed mine, the way I'd always imagined, but suddenly they moved lower. _

_What? This wasn't how it should go. His lips blazed a trail right to my throat and then I could feel the tiniest hint of his teeth._

"Bella?"

My eyes flew open and I swear I jumped ten feet in the air. Charlie was sitting on the edge of my bed, his eyes worried.

"You were screaming. Are you alright?"

I noticed that he was holding my arms down, like I was trying to hit him. Weird.

"Uhm, yeah. I-I'm good."

His rough hands pushed my hair gently from my face. "Okay. Get some rest."

He flipped the lights off and shut my door behind him. I lay there for what seemed like hours, trying to fall asleep. But I couldn't. I rolled over and my alarm clock read 4:15 AM. Great. I turned the lamp on and sat up, mesmerized at my room. It was...clean? My books were back on the shelves, my pictures frames- although glassless- were back where they were, my books were arranged neatly on my desk, the feathers were gone and the glasses vacuumed up. I turned bright red instantly. I couldn't believe the way I acted. Charlie must be ashamed, or something. But he took care of me. My father who sucked at showing affection, took care of me.

~.~

When morning came I showed my appreciation by cooking the biggest and heartiest breakfast for him. I even took the time to set the table and cut some flowers from the garden to place in a vase. We ate in silence, but I knew he enjoyed it and was grateful.

"Dad, about last night...I'm so sorr-"

He held his hand up. "Bells, don't even think of it. You've been through a lot, it's understandable."

I shook my head and stirred my eggs around. "No, it's not. I destroyed my room. I went crazy."

Charlie dropped his fork and wiped his mouth before looking me in the eyes.

"You just lost your mother Bells. And you were sent to live in some strange place. This isn't easy and you need time to heal. Everyone heals differently."

I knew he didn't mind, but I still felt stupid. I was acting out and I was embarrassed.

After Charlie left to go fishing, I cleaned the house thoroughly. Even I was impressed by how good it looked. But it was only 3:00 when I finished and Charlie wouldn't be home until 5:00. Angela called and asked if I wanted to go to a movie with her and Jessica in Port Angelas...but I said no. I wasn't ready for the whole "friend" thing yet. But I knew that wasn't true. In the back of my mind I knew that if it had been Edward, I would have said yes in a heartbeat.

Giving up, I pulled my _Catcher in the Rye_ book out and started halfway through. Once I'd read a book enough, I could start anywhere and go to the end before starting back to the beginning and going to where I started. It was weird, I know, but reading gave me an escape. I took on a new role in life and for once I wasn't just Bella Swan, the girl with the weird Dad and dead Mom. I was someone happy, someone in love, someone who had no worries. Now I could be Holden, the guy with no direction who didn't care and just wandered.

And right now that was just what I needed.

* * *

**Ah I'm sorry! I was kind of blocked for this chapter because I have the plan for the next chapter, but I didn't know how to get there. Oh well, reviews please!! :)**


	10. Attack

**Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(**

**I realized we only have like 82 reviews for 9 chapters. Where did all my readers from Taking Chances go? :( I'm still eternally grateful to everyone who did follow me! I love you all and thanks for reviewing!!**

**Bella POV**

It only took an hour for me to get bored. I hadn't had a whole hour to just read peacefully in so long that I almost forgot how to do it. I kept letting my eyes wander in alert, thinking maybe Mom would wake up or something. But it was just me in the small house. My legs tingled with restlessness until I finally put my book down and peered out the window. Still sunny. I dipped my feet in my boots and donned on my raincoat, just in case.

The path was the same as the first night I arrive: damp and partly overgrown. It reminded me of when Charlie used to take me walking here when I was a kid. I hated it, all the green and wetness. The colors were so bright it always made me want to pass out. But now I just saw it as beautiful wonder. The colors were probably the only thing my mother liked about living here. They were happy and cheerful in the sun, just like her.

I must have been walking forever because when I turned around I couldn't see the beginning of the path and opening of Charlie's yard. It was just trees and the path grew smaller and smaller the further I went. Then suddenly I came to a fork in the path. Left or right? I stopped and hesitated for a moment before deciding on going right.

As I got deeper into the forest the sun faded until I saw were green leaves and gray skies above me. So much for a sunny Saturday. Big fat drops of rain fell on my face and I pulled my hood up. That was when I heard it. It was a faint, growling noise. I could tell that it was from miles away, but it still sent shivers up my back. That same feeling from the first night arose inside me. My heart sped up and I felt very unsafe, like I was in danger. I heard the growling noise again, and it was closer, but still far. What the hell was that? Thunder boomed above me. It was a warning.

Then I heard another noise. It was more high pitched than the first and sounded like an actual word, thought it was still too far to make out completely. My fear increased and I quickly turned and started to run back down the path. By now it was pouring hard and the damp earth turned to mud quickly. My boots kept slipping under me as I tried to sprint through the forest. I could hear the noises getting louder and the high pitched scream kind of sounded like someone yelling "No". My eyes wandered frantically for somewhere to hide off the path. A bush maybe? But nothing. It was all trees and tiny shrubs. So I kept running. And then as the mud stirred under my boots I fell. I looked behind me and saw nothing. My breathing came out in gasps as I got to my feet and kept running, falling every so often.

I could see the fork in the path just in front of me when I heard something else that made me freeze in my path.

"Bella!" someone yelled. Their voice so was soft, like velvet, but rushed and panicked. They were afraid. I turned around just to see a tall blond man smash right into me, pinning me to the ground.

And everything went black.

* * *

**Edward POV**

The air was getting thick; it was going to storm soon. I looked upwards to the sky and could see clouds forming on the horizon, of course only family could tell, no human could see that far with perfect vision and no human could feel the air around them like we could. We'd definitely make perfect weather people.

"Edward look out!"

My head snapped up and my hand sped out just in time to catch the baseball flying towards my face.

"Nice try Emmett," I said with my notorious smirk.

My brother rolled his eyes. "You're such a dumb ass!" Jasper said, "when have you ever caught Edward by surprise?"

I laughed and threw the ball back to Emmett.

"Are we going to play or just sit here until my hair wilts?" Rosalie whined

"The storm doesn't start for another 10 minutes!" Alice called, coming out of her dazed mode which happened when she looked into the future.

The sun was fading quickly and our skin became paler and less sparkly by the second.

"Edward! Why are you zoning out! We're having family time!"

Emmett laughed at himself and Alice came out and looked at me with her lovey dovey eyes.

"Someone can't stop thinking about Bella," she crooned.

My whole body tensed.

Rosalie looked at me in disgust. "Ugh! Don't even mention that name! She's going to ruin everything!"

Esme walked up to me with concerned eyes. "Edward, you haven't told her yet have you?"

I looked away, unable to stare my mother straight in the eye. I should have told her the first day. But I couldn't. What if she didn't even want to speak with me after that? I couldn't bare it. I could barely stand being away from her now.

"I will. I just-I just need the right time," I muttered.

"Edward, you need to tell her!" Alice said. "I can't see her reaction, but I know things will be okay. Edward you know what I've seen. What happens to her in inevitable! Stop trying to postpone this! You know you want it too, just-"

"Shut up!" I roared. It wasn't coming true. Bella would _never_ be- I couldn't eve think it. That perfect, sweet creature could not be like us. "Alice, I can't do that to her. I promised!"

She raised her brow. "You also promised you would if it came down to it. Life or death situation."

I rolled my eyes. "Well then I'm just going to have to keep her safe then, won't I?"

Alice shook her head slowly. "You love her, Edward. You've loved her for 17 years and love does strange things to a person."

My whole body shook. The sun was gone now and replaced with gray skies and rain. The wind blew in our direction and with it came a smell. The most heavenly smell I'd ever known in my life. What was she doing outside?

Alice zoned out, her eyes going wide and her face blank. I read her mind and saw everything. Bella was wandering the forest, just like that first night she arrive. But this time she went too far. She came to a fork and took the right, the one in our direction.

A fierce growl interupted our thoughts. No!

We both turned just in time to see Jasper sprint through the forest.

"No!" Alice screamed.

We took off after him. Thunder sounded above us. Alice screamed again. I could smell Bella without the wind this time. I could also hear her frantic breath. I could hear her footsteps and she tried running away. She fell, and then got back up. Please, no...

And there she was, running. "Bella!" I screamed.

And then she stopped dead. No! What was she doing? Bella turned around very slowly. And then Jasper had her pinned to the ground.

I could tell she was unconcious by the way her body was flung down and her limbs flailed. Her clothes were already soaked and covered with mud and now I could see every little spot of mud that splashed on her face. I had to act fast. Jasper already had his teeth in her neck, I could smell the blood from his lips.

I jumped on his back and pulled him away best as I could; but Jasper was strong too. He ripped his arms free of mine and crouched down next to Bella again. Alice was there now to help me pull him off. We held him back just in time for Emmett and Carlisle to grab him. Alice put herself directly in his eyeline to make him distracted.

"Jazz calm down! You don't want her. Focus, Jasper!"

He kept struggling. Alice slapped him. "Look at me Jasper!"

Jasper blinked and focused on Alice. Horrid disgust crossed his face. "Oh no...Alice, Alice I'm so sorry!"

She took him off the path to cool down and I turned to Bella. She lay on the ground like a dead animal. There was a large bite mark on the back of her neck where Jasper got her and blood oozed out the open wound.

"Carlisle! She's lost so much blood!"

It was true, her skin was even more pale if that were possible. It was almost translucent now.

We both got down next to her and Carlisle checked her vitals before deciding. "Okay. Pick her up, we'll take her to the house, but we must hurry."

I shook my head. "But the venom! Is it enough to change her?" He shook his head and answered me in his mind.

_There isn't much. It should leave her system without transformation._

Relief washed over me in that instant. Carlisle took his scarf off and wrapped it around her neck to stop the bleeding and I pulled her gently into my arms.

It was then that her big, beautiful, brown eyes opened wide and stared up at me. "Edward!" she shrieked. I started walking slowly behind the others. "Shh. I've got you, you'll be okay."

Her eyelids then slowly closed and she wiggled closer to my body and wrapped her thin arms around me neck. I've never felt so important in my whole life as right then. I ignored the hunger inside myself to just drink the rest of her blood and focused on keeping her safe and with me.

* * *

**Bella POV**

When my eyes opened all I saw was darkness. I blinked a few times until the blurry images around me came into focus. A lamp turned on and I turned my head out of the brightness.

"Sorry," someone murmured. I turned quickly, too quickly because I got dizzy, to see Edward sitting next to me in a chair. Seeing him brought back all the memories of that afternoon. His brother attacking me, running in the rain...everything came back.

"Edward, what happened!" I demanded, sitting up. I looked around to see the room. All the furniture was made of dark wood and the walls were painted deep, midnight blue. The huge king sized bed I was in sat in the middle of the room. On the wall where Edward was were shelves full of music and the most high-tec stereo system I'd ever seen. The shelf next to it was filled with books. The wall in front of me was simple with just a flat screen TV hanging and a few paintings. A giant MAC computer sat in the next corner and the wall opposite Edward was actually just windows. I could see it was dark outside, nighttime, and raining.

I could see he was trying to think of what to tell me. "Just say the truth. I know there is something different about you. I know you have this big secret. So tell me the truth."

I winced then at the sharp pain in the back of my neck. I reached to touch it and felt gaze and bandages.

"Edward what happened!"

"You're a mess. You should get cleaned up and having something to eat first," he suggested. I was about to deny when I felt my hair. It was caked with mud. In fact so where my clothes. And then my stomach growled. I hadn't eaten since breakfast.

"Okay fine, but we are talking later."

He helped me down from the bed and I remembered Charlie. "Oh no! Charlie!"

But he seemed at ease. "Taken care of. I had Alice go and leave a note saying you were in Port Angelas with Angela and Jessica and wouldn't be back until late."

I thanked him with a smile and he showed me into the huge bathroom connected to his room. It was so clean that it looked like it had never been used before. But it stocked full so I peeled off my muddy clothes and tore off the gauge and stepped into the steamy shower. It relieved all my tension, except it stung when it hit my wound.

When I got out of the shower I wrapped myself in a robe on the door and peered into the mirror to see my wound. I gasped because it was a full on bite mark. Why was there a human bite mark on my neck! Even weirder was that it was almost healed into a shiney scar. I touched it lightly with my hand, yeah it still hurt, but looked like it happened weeks ago.

I shook my head and decided to forget for a minute. I saw clothes folded up on the counter that weren't there before, but I slipped on the sweat pants and tshirt. They were long on me so I rolled them up and then looked at my face. It was so much paler than this morning. What happened to me! I closed my eyes and tried to remember, but I couldn't. I knew that I had passed out for most of it. I piled my wet hair on top of my head and then took a breath before walking back into Edward's room. He was sitting cross legged on his bed with a tray of food in front of him.

"Hungry?" he asked with a smile.

I had to climb onto the bed because it was so high and it took so long that eventually Edward grabbed my arm and yanked me up. My stomach growled again at the sight of food. I picked up the warm roll and started to butter it.

"Okay, talk. And I want to know everything. Especially why I have a bite mark on my neck!"

Edward furrowed his brow and looked down at his hands.

"Well...."

* * *

**Oh, another cliffy! haha, please comment the hell out of this chapter!! I hoped ya'll enjoyed!! :)**


	11. Truth

**Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(**

**Yay, quick update!! Haha, thanks for the reviews as always!! Glad you love the twists and so glad that no one has guessed what will happen next which makes my job all the more fun because you'll be surprised!!**

**Bella POV**

"Well what? Nothing can surprise me anymore," I said as I practically shoved the roll into my mouth.

But Edward still hesitated. "I'm pretty sure this will."

I rolled my eyes. "Try me," I dared him.

He suddenly sat up straight and took a deep breath. "Okay. Bella...I'm a vampire."

I didn't realize that my second roll had slipped from my hands until I heard the soft _thud_ of it landing on my leg. And then laughter bubbled from my lips uncertainly. "You're kidding. No seriously, what is the real secret?"

Edward seemed frustrated then. Why couldn't he just tell me?

"I just did! I am not lying to you Bella! Jasper didn't just attack you, he drank your blood! That is his bite mark on your neck! He drained nearly half your blood, you're lucky you didn't die!" he said sternly. My hand instantly went to the scar on my neck. I could feel the shiny grooves of the mark on my fingertips. It couldn't be...

"But-" I had to stop and think. Vampires had fangs and were evil and couldn't go out in the sunlight...

My thought trailed off. It was sunny yesterday afternoon and today. He wasn't around. It couldn't be...

"No, please say you're joking," I begged.

His eyes were sad, incredibly sad, and filled with pain as he shook his head no. "I wish I was."

Flashes of Jasper pinning me down suddenly flew into my head. He was so angry, so animal like. I remembered my head slamming into the mud and feeling his lips on my neck. I felt the sharp pain as he bit into me and slowly drank my blood. It felt like he was sucking the life out of me. That was when the blackness came.

As I came back out of my memory I saw something new in Edward. I pictured him a scary vampire, someone who would kill me. I gasped and backed away as he scooted closer.

"Bella?"

"Get away!" I cried, furiously grabbing onto the silk comforter as a barrier.

He just shook his head. "Bella, I'm not goi-"

But I turned and tried to jump off the bed. It was so high that I fell on my face. "Bella!" he called. But I was on my feet and running across the room to the door. I had to get out. It wasn't safe here. My sweaty palms tried to grip the doorknob but they just slipped off.

"No, please...No!"

I turned around and screamed. Edward was right there, only concern covered his face. "Bella, please don't be scared!"

But I didn't see that. I saw him luring me in. Why else would he have me here? I turned and ran, not hearing his warning, and tripped over my own feet and face planted it. I could smell the blood coming out of my nose before I saw it. I flipped on my back. Edward was crouched by my side. I tried to back away, but as he got closer my panic increased so much that I passed out.

The last thing I saw was his intense stare above me.

~.~

When I came too, the first thing I noticed was that my nose was sore. I reached up to touch it and it stung. I moaned in response.

"Bella?"

My eyes flew open. I was once again laying in Edward's bed, but this time he was sitting next to me. That was when I remembered what he said. I started breathing quickly in fear, but I was frozen.

"Bella, I'm not going to hurt you," he whispered as slowly as he could. He was trying to not scare me, I could see that now.

I shook my head. "But you're dead! You're a vampire! You're going to kill me!"

Why wasn't I moving!

"No!" he hissed fiercely. "I wouldn't never, _ever_, hurt you."

"But, I was bleeding..."

Oh no. He drank my blood! That's why I couldn't move. But my reaction only made him laugh.

"I didn't drink your blood. I mean, you have the sweetest scent I've ever smelled in a century, but the thought of hurting you sickens me. I couldn't never do that."

"Why?" I asked suddenly curious.

But his eyes were dark and I knew I wasn't going to get an answer.

"I'm sorry about Jasper. The thing is, my family and I only drink the blood of animals and you see, Jasper hasn't been on our 'diet' as long as we have, so it's hard for him. He feels terrible and he wanted me to apologize for him," he said.

I let this soak in before speaking. "So...you're a good vampire?"

Edward rolled his eyes. "Sure, if that's how you want to look at it."

"But you can go outside? And no fangs? And your eyes...?"

He then spent the next thirty minutes answering any question I had. Yes, we can go outside. No, not in sunlight. Yes, I will show you sometime. No, we don't have fangs. Yes, our eyes change color: Black for hungry, Topaz for full. Yes, we run extremely fast and are strong. Yes, we have special gifts.

"Wait! You read minds?" I asked skeptically. I guess this shouldn't have surprised me.

"Yep. Well, almost all. I can't read yours. No matter how hard I try, I just can't."

I wrinkled my nose. "Why?"

He just shrugged. "Who knows. But at least you now know that your mind is safe from me."

By now I was sitting up facing him with my legs curled under my arms. Dawn was approaching now. I hope Charlie wasn't worried, because there was no way I was leaving anytime soon.

"What about everyone else?"

He smiled. "Well, Jasper can control emotions. And Alice can see the future..."

He trailed off on that thought and seemed to be looking past me then.

"She saw me, didn't she?"

This made him sad. "She saw you, yes. I mean, the future can always change. Nothing is permanent."

I had no idea what the hell that meant, but I continued with my questions up until the door swung open. Tiny Alice stood in the doorway, a huge smile on her face.

"Alice," Edward greeted her. She ignored him completely and seemed to fly onto the bed and before I could blink I was tucked in her tiny, hard arms.

"I'm so happy you finally told her! Now that she knows, we'll be family for real this time!"

I gently hugged her back until she released me.

"We're busy, Alice," Edward hissed. She rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out before she disappeared out the door.

He looked at me apologetically, but I was beaming. "She's nice."

Edward laughed out loud. "You could say that. You say nice, I say freak."

Right as he said that a baseball flew in his doorway and right to his face. I ducked but when I looked I saw it resting in Edward's hand.

"Nice try Alice!"

I heard a growl from somewhere in the house. It sent shivers down my spine.

But then suddenly the big question came into my head. Why hadn't I even thought of this until now?

"So why are you telling _me _all this? Why me?"

There had to be an explanation for why out of everyone he could have, he chose to tell me. Because I was jaded and lost? Because I had nothing and no one anymore?

This question seemed to trouble Edward more than all of them. His thick brow furrowed and he looked down, obviously deciding if he wanted to share. Why were there so many answers I couldn't know?

"Bella, there's more. It's something I should have told you the first time we met, but I just couldn't-"

He stopped short and looked up. I turned around to see Esme standing in the doorway with Carlisle.

"Bella, your father has been looking for you ever since you didn't come home last night. I called him and assured him you were alright, but I'd get home if I were you," Carlisle said in his calm, collected manner. I nodded and turned to Edward.

"Yes?"

But his face changed and he was already off the bed. "Come on, I'll drive you home."

~.~

The car ride was silent except for the soft piano music in the background.

"What were you going to tell me?" I asked, remembering what he started in his room.

Edward pretended like he said nothing. "Another time."

It made me so angry how he was so cryptic.

"This is beautiful," I said, nodding towards the music. "Who is it?"

A smugness came over his face. "It's actually me."

I laughed. "What? You're joking."

But Edward just shook his head. "Nope. I even wrote it myself."

My mouth gaped open. "Oh, my God. What else can you do? You're like a professional ballroom dancer, better at piano than Beethovan, probably a genius..."

He chuckled. "I also speak many different languages."

I raised my eyebrow. "How many?"

"I don't know anymore, too many to count. Some aren't languages in themselves, but different dialects and stuff."

I snorted. "Name some."

Edward took a deep breath (even though techniqually I learned he didn't even have to breath), and spoke. "Spanish, Italian, French, German, Portugeuse, Japanese, Manderin Chinese, Russian, Vietnimese, at least 10 different Native African Tribal languages, Turkish, Finnish...."

He trailed off with some others that I can't even remember nor heard of. Then he finally stopped.

"Oh, and I even know a little Gullah," he added with a wink.

I rolled my eyes and muttered "show-off" under my breath. He grinned even wider.

"How do you know all those, may I ask?"

He shrugged. "Places I been. You just pick it up, and learning is extremely easy when you're a...well, like me. Plus once I learn something it sticks forever."

I sighed and that was when he pulled into the driveway. I saw awkwardly, not wanting to leave. It was morning now, but the skies were covered by thick, gray clouds.

"Thanks for the ride, and for everything else. I really do appreciate it," I said earnestly. We seemed to get lost in each others eyes for the longest time before he blinked and turned away.

"Of course, it's the least I could do."

I just wanted to grab him and hold on, but I knew he'd never let me get that close. Instead he hesitantly reached his hand out and ran it down the length of my cheek. I thought my face was going to catch on fire; instead it just turned bright red.

"Goodbye."

I smiled, unable to talk, and got out of the car and stumbled on my way to the door.

What a day.

~.~

But as soon as I was in Charlie was all over me.

"Where the hell were you! I thought you got killed! You said you'd be home late, but I didn't know you meant morning late!" he roared.

But I was too caught up in my own bliss to care.

"Sorry, I fell asleep at Jessica's. It won't happen again," I murmured while heading for the stairs.

And Charlie, being the unsure parent he was, tried to get the last word in. "Oh well...you're damn right it won't!"

But it came out with no power at all. I smiled to myself and shut my bedroom door behind me.

* * *

**Aw...how sweet. But wait..it definitely ain't over yet ;)**


	12. Perfect Moment

**Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(**

**Reviews=rockness! You all are so amazing!! So thanks, as usual. I need a more creative way to say thanks, haha. Any ideas??**

**Well...enjoy :) **

**Bella POV**

Sunday afternoon stretched on endlessly. I tried my absolute hardest to produce answers to my homework problems, but it didn't happen. All I could think about was Edward. A few hours ago he was just some mysterious man...now he was a vampire, and unlike before, it no longer scared me. It actually made me like him that much more. I knew he was dangerous and this whole situation actually, was dangerous, but that didn't change anything. Everytime I thought of him my stomach filled with butterflies and blush rose in my cheeks. Especially the thought of him running his fingers down my face. It was undeniable.

I was in love with Edward Cullen.

But that only made things harder. I knew he didn't like me that way. He was just being a friend. So I was shocked when on Monday morning as I was tying my shoes that I heard a honk. I looked out my window to see him waiting in his shiny, silver volvo. My heart jumped erratically in my chest as I hurried out the door and into the car.

"You're picking me up?" I questioned as I buckled the seatbelt. He peeled out my driveway and went down the road at 90 to nothing.

"Why, did you not want me to?"

The look of horror on my face made him laugh. He knew I wanted this.

I noticed that his family was missing. "Where is everyone?"

He seemed completely at ease. "They went with Rosalie. She's not too happy with me right now."

I frowned. "Oh. Because of me? She doesn't like me?" I couldn't help at being hurt. What had I done to her?

"No, well...yes. But she's just a hateful person. It took her three years to love Alice and Jasper. She even cut Jasper's foot off once in protest, but don't worry, it reattached."

My mouth fell open. Oh God. What would she do to me? "Don't worry, I won't let her touch you!" he said with a laugh.

By then we were at school, but we stayed in the car.

"You're boyfriend looks mad that you're in my car," he observed.

I looked up too see Mike standing under the cover of the rain with Jessica. She was rambling about something to him but he was staring straight at us...well, glaring, actually.

"He's not my boyfriend. _Definitely_ not ever," I hissed, adding the last part for emphasis. Edward seemed to find something funny about that.

"It's not funny!" I muttered. "You're right, it's not," he said. "It's _damn_ funny."

I sighed and got out of the car. "Fine!"

But he was standing in front of me in two seconds. "Better watch it before someone sees."

Edward ignored me and put his arm around my shoulder. It nearly took the breath out of me and it took me a few seconds to adjust to this. He seemed so casual about it, like he touched me all the time. He walked me all the way to my first class, and stunned students stood back and watched as he smirked at him. I could tell Jessica was pissed when I walked into class.

"What was that!" she sneered, sneaking one last peek at Edward.

I shrugged and sat down. "We're friends."

And clearly she could tell that was all she was getting. So she _Hmphed_ and turned around to face forward.

~.~

The next weeks flew by so quickly that I could barely blink. I spent every moment that I possibly could with Edward. He took me to school everyday and we ate lunch together (well, I ate lunch) everyday. He walked me to all my classes, most the time carrying my books or with his arm slug around my shoulder. On the weekends he'd take me to Port Angelas for a movie or out hiking to random little places he wanted to share with me. And most nights he stayed on the phone with me for hours and we'd talk until I fell asleep. I found out everything I possibly could about his whole life. His human memories were fuzzy, but he had plenty of adventures and stories to tell me.

And then he'd spend time asking me things. They were never general or obvious things one might want to know, like about me growing up. But instead he asked tiny, small details about my life; things only people intimate would want to know. I found it strange, but never complained.

Everynight I also dreamed of him. It was always the same; he'd rescue me and kiss me. It didn't take me long to realize how much I wanted this. I thought about it all the tiny, just reaching over and kissing him. Or even to hold his hand or have him wrap his arms around me. People at school started rumors about us being a couple in secret, which made sense, but we were friends. Edward was my best friend. And being with him didn't make me hurt. It made me forget the hurt. The pain I felt was gone when I was with him. It was like he cured me.

He also brought me into a new family. On days when Edward had to hunt Alice took over the reins and became the best girlfriend I could have. I grew to love her, and the whole family, in a matter of days. The only exeption was Rosalie who still glared at me whenever she got, but Edward ignored him and told me in time it would be okay.

And by the two month mark of me being in Forks, I gave up on him loving me back. I accepted our friendship for what it was and focused on that.

But one morning as he was walking me into school something changed. He held my books in one hand like usual, but the way he acted seemed different. He seemed twitchy and nervous. I kept asking what was wrong, but he changed subjects everytime. We were just entering the school when he suddenly grabbed my small hand in his. I tried my very hardest to keep my gasp in and I slowly but surely closed my fingers in his. Out of the corner of my eye I could see the tiniest hint of relief and a sparkle or pure happiness in his eyes. Had he really been that nervous to hold my hand?

But all the same, the butterflies rushed back into my stomach. Hope returned to my eyes and I walked with an extra bounce in my step. When we made it to my class, he handed me my books reluctantly and we both stared at our intertwined hands. They fit perfectly together. I didn't even want to let go, and either did he.

And then very slowly, he pulled me close so that our bodies were touching, and kissed my cheek with extra tenderness. My knees shook and went weak. When Edward pulled back and saw the goofy grin on my face he smiled instantly.

"I'll see you soon," he whispered.

I just nodded, to afraid my words would come out in a high-pitched girly squeal.

~.~

During lunch we sat side-by-side at our usual table, facing the wall so we could have our privacy. But today he sat close enough so that once again our shoulders touched.

I was busy peeling a banana with shaky fingers when he spoke up.

"So, everybody has been talking about us, that we're secretly together," he mentioned.

I nodded, obviously aware. Jessica had hounded me everyday since the first day he drove me. "So I've heard."

Edward seemed very hesitant about this. "Well, are we...together?"

I looked up into his glowing topaz eyes. They were happy and he wore my favorite crooked smile. He knew clearly what he was doing.

"I-I, I don't know. Are we?" I asked, getting lost in those eyes.

"I don't see why not. Why don't we just come out and be exclusive about it?" he suggested.

My heart started beating erractically in my chest. This was the moment. And Edward's grin took up his whole face, realizing the reaction my body was having.

"Okay," my voice squeaked.

"Okay," he agreed.

And right then his arm looped around my waist and pulled me closer to him. I nearly melted into his side with happiness. I couldn't believe it.

I was the girlfriend of Edward Cullen.

~.~

The day couldn't have ended earlier for me. Edward suggested that we skip ballroom and the was exactly what I needed. We rushed through the rain, holding hands, and into his warm car. I giggled with excitement and then admired how beautiful he looked with his dishelved hair sparkling with raindrops. He was perfect.

We drove out into the middle of nowhere and sat under a huge canopy tree while the rain poured around us. It was absolurely perfect. He lounged against the huge tree and pulled me close so I was sitting between his legs and resting my back on his chest and his arms conviently were wrapped around me. This was everything I'd ever wanted. There was nothing I wouldn't change, and nothing could go wrong.

"This is nice," I murmured, craining my neck up to look into his eyes. I thought that I'd seen him pefectly happy before, but it was nothing compared to the satisfaction glowing on his face now.

"I've been waiting a long time for this moment."

I grinned. "How long? Did Alice see it?"

He frowned suddenly. "Long enough." I twisted around in his arms so I could see his face better. "What do you mean?"

But as usual, when I asked a question he didn't like, he changed the subject.

"You're so lovely when you're wet," he whispered.

Edward lifted his hand and cupped my cheek in it. I couldn't help but sigh into it.

"Bella....there's something I've been wanting to try," he said suddenly.

I opened my eyes and looked at him expectantly. "Yes?"

"I want to kiss you."

Again, my heart took off at a million miles an hour. I tried to play it cool, but I'm sure it came off ridiculous.

"So kiss me," I whisered, pushing my head closer to his.

This was one of the few times when Edward wasn't sure of himself. "I'm afraid, Bella. I can't loose control with you, ever. I could never hurt you."

"But you said the thought of hurting me sickens you?"

He nodded. "It does, but that doesn't mean the desire isn't there. I'm so much stronger than you Bella."

I frowned too. "Well...just try. You'll never know."

Blush crept into my cheeks as a determined look crossed his face. Both hands now cupped my cheeks and he was pulling my mouth closer to his. I could smell the sweetness of his breath and instantly pushed closer. And then before I even knew it happened, our lips touched. It was very soft and very delicate, but it happened. Edward froze for a second before really pushing his lips to mine. And soon my lips found mobility again and moved to fit perfectly to his.

Right at that moment fireworks seemed to go off between us. Blood rushed throughout my body and all the sexual tension between us exploded out of me. My hands flew around his neck and I let my fingers knot passionately in his hair. Edward removed his hands from my face and let one hand wrap around my back and the other clutched the back of my neck. Our lips broke for a mere second, just enought for me to realize that both of our breaths were ragid. And then we kissed again. And again. And again. Until our lips stopped breaking and kept in the same rhythm with eachothers. Before I knew what was happening my front was pressed against his front and my legs had wrapped themselves around his waist.

Edward rolled us so that my back was on the hard ground and he was on top of me. I couldn't feel anything anymore. I could barely think a coherent thought.

And then as fast as it happened, Edward was off me and standing above me. He was panting hard, like he just got back from a long run and his muscles were strained. I realized that his hands were clenched into fists.

"Edward?" I asked, sitting up and shaking the dirt from my hair.

"Give me a second," he hissed.

I stood up slowly, cautiously.

"I almost..."

He could barely speak.

"What's wrong?"

Why was he freaking out? Everything was fine...well, more than fine.

"I almost lost control!"

The feeling returned to my lips and I felt tears rush into my eyes. I knew it was stupid for me to be crying now, but he seemed so upset and I was so happy.

He noticed this and immediately I was wrapped in his arms. I pressed my face into his chest and let out the few tears that formed.

"Please don't be upset, Bella. It was perfect, you are perfect. It was the best moment of life. I just couldn't stand the thought of ever hurting you," he whispered into my hair.

I nodded and hugged him with all my strength. "I know, I just want you to be happy."

"I am happy," he said fiercly. "You make me happier than I've ever been."

And just like that happiness was restored in our perfect little world.

* * *

**Aw happiness!! Which means drama to come....oooo...leave some love!! :)**


	13. Blood Lust

**Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(**

**Ah, I'm so sorry it's been forever since I've written! I've just been so caught up in life that I haven't had time!! Please forgive me because ya'll are awesome!!**

**Bella POV**

When Edward drove me home we sat in silence in the driveway for a long time. His classical music played in the background and my head rested on his shoulder.

"What do I tell Charlie?" I finally asked. It was something I'd been meaning to tell him, but everytime I was with Edward he thought it was Jessica.

He laughed. "That you're dating a vampire? Hmm..."

I rolled my eyes and sat up. "I'm serious. I've never had to deal with the whole _boyfriend_ thing. I think he knows, I mean I've been in a much better mood these past weeks."

"Well I could come in and tell him with you," he said with a wink. I shook my head quickly. "No no, that's okay. You'd make it too hard for me to concentrate."

My favorite crooked smile crossed his face and he leaned down close to me.

"How would I do that?" he whispered, blowing his sweet breath on my face. My eyes glazed over and became transfixed as his lips barely touched mine. Unable to control myself, I smashed my lips to hard into his. A little too hard because his front tooth sliced my lip open. We both pulled back in surprise and my hand immediately covered my mouth. I felt the warm liquid oozing from my lip onto my hand and stared wide eyed at Edward. A small trickle of my blood was left on his lip. In the instant that he licked the blood away is face changed. It became distorted with pain and he was shaking. He was pressed hard to his side of the car, his hand clutching the steering wheel, bending it into an odd shape.

"Bella...."his voice was hoarse. "Get out. Hurry, get out. Now!"

My trembling fingers struggle to open the car door. When I finally succeded, I fell from the car onto the ground and quickly stood up.

"Edward?"

But the door was already shut and he was peeling out of the driveway like a mad man. I licked my bloody lip clean and stayed outside in the rain a little longer until my body calmed down.

~.~

All that night I could hardly concentrate. I ate dinner without tasting it and zoned out during the Mariners game. I didn't even look at my homework, knowing there was no use. So I kissed Charlie goodnight and went upstairs to bed.

And I sat staring at the ceiling for hours. He hadn't even bothered to call. Or leave a note on my window. He could at least say something.

~.~

**Edward POV**

I got home with the taste of her blood in my mouth. Alice was immediately next to me as I walked inside.

"Edward! I saw! What happened?"

I brushed past her into the living room and kept my fists clenched.

"Nothing. I told her to get out and then I left."

My chest rose and fell ninety to nothing. I knew what I looked like: a mad man. And I was. I almost killed the love of my life, the first day we were officially together.

"Edward, calm down. You controlled yourself. Be proud!"

Rosalie stalked in the room with a smirk.

"You should have just eaten her."

My rage came back and I had her pinned against the wall before she could blink.

"Shut up Rosalie! Do you _always_ have to make things worse!" I hissed.

Her sarcastic eyes changed to fear immediately. "Edward, I-"

But Emmett's hands grabbed my shoulder and pulled me off. My whole body was shaking.

"Everyone just calm down!" he said in his booming voice.

Suddenly the whole family was in the room. "Son, you're doing a brave thing. Just be proud you handled this situation how you did," Carlisle said.

I shook my head. "I could have killed her! What am I thinking! I love her too much for this, I shouldn't be putting her in danger!"

"Edward no!" Alice whispered. "Don't do it."

I ignored her. "There's only one way I can protect her."

~.~

**Bella POV**

The soft, but urgent, taps on my window woke my up. I stood up and opened the window with a yawn. Edward hopped in with ease. My eyes flew open and I practically jumped into his arms.

"Oh Edward! I was so worried! You didn't call and I just, well I don't know. I was just worried," I cried.

But his arms didn't fold tenderly around me. I pulled back and looked up into his eyes. They were almost black.

"Edward?"

"Bella..."

His voice sounded pained. He sat down on my bed and patted the spot next to him. I sat down hesitantly.

"Is everything okay?"

But he wouldn't look at me. "Things are complicated between us."

"So?"

Edward's fists were clenched. What was he saying?

"It's just, well you know how I feel. And yet I put you in danger. You saw what happened today. You were so close to being killed! I could never live with myself if I let that happen."

I reached for his hand. He tried to pull away but I grabbed hold before he could. "I don't care! I trust you!"

"You shouldn't. You shouldn't be with me. You should be with someone like Mike Newton," he said.

I shook my head. "But you hate Mike! And I'd never want anyone but you!"

He stood up and dropped my hand. "It's better that way, Bella."

Tears flooded my eyes. "A-are you....are you breaking up with me?"

It came out as a faint whisper. Of course he wouldn't want to be with plain old me. It never made sense.

Edward nodded. "I'm so sorry."

And then with nothing else, he disappeared out the window.

~.~

The hours went by slow. The seconds ticked by with each tear that fell on my pillow. It was all over again. Another person I loved gone, out of my life. Why couldn't anyone keep their promises and stay! What was the point of even living now. I had nothing again.

I let the pain rip open the wounds of my heart that Edward had sealed. It felt like someone was pouring acid inside my body and I was slowly shutting down. My happiness was gone again.

Things never changed.

* * *

**Short I know! But I thought you all needed a small tidbit! Leave some love!**


	14. Revealed

**Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(**

**Once again, I'm soooooooo sorry for takin so long! It's the end of the year so I'm flooded with finals and studying! I wish I had more time!! But here we goo!!**

**Enjoy :)**

**Bella POV**

Getting out of bed in the morning was harder than I thought. I sat there and stared at my ceiling, memorizing the stucco patterns. I found pictures of apples and cats, the same that I'd found ever since I was little. But my eyes stopped on a pattern I hadn't ever noticed. It was hidden in the corner, so small that I almost missed it. I slid out of bed and stood on my chair to get a better look. They were initials.

I gasped and stumbled on the chair as I read them.

_E.A.M.C._

Those were Edward's initials, Edward Anthony Mason Cullen. I pushed my fingers over them, and they had been etched in _before_ my room was painted. Under them were another set, my mothers initials.

I cupped my hand over my mouth and got off the chair as warm tears fell from my eyes. There's no way he could have known my mother. I shook my head, it didn't mean anything. Maybe he did it and painted over it when I came here. He would have told me. He would have told me!

But instead I tore off my pajamas and tossed on the first clothes I could find. I hurriedly pulled my hair up and grabbed my stuff, practically running out the door.

~.~

When I got to school I saw Edward getting out of his car, Alice by his side. The rest of his family was already walking inside.

"Edward!" I yelled. He turned around in surprise. Alice grabbed his hand in alarm and I knew right then she knew. Edward's eyes changed slowly from shock to an expression I had no name for.

"Edward!" I screamed.

Everyone in the whole parking lot turned to stare at us. Alice walked away and left Edward standing there, unable to decide if he wanted to face me or run.

"Bella, what are you doing?" he hissed, trying to avoid a scene.

Hot tears from this morning rose into my eyes and threatened to spill over.

"How could you not tell me!" I cried.

His hands grasped my shoulders. "Can we talk later? Class is about to start."

I shrugged his hand off and let tears spill over. "You knew what it would have meant to me and yet you said nothing! How could you do that to me!"

People in the parking lot turned to whisper to their neighbor about the scene. No doubt we'd be top gossip for the whole week. But Edward ignored them and dragged me off to the side so we'd be concealed by the trees.

"You knew my mother! You've known all along!" Tears kept spilling down my face.

He waited for my tears to come under control before saying anything.

"Yes...I did."

I rubbed my arm across my wet eyes and bit my trembling lips. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Edward looked away, clearly pained. "I couldn't do it. I tried so many times, but I just never could."

"Why!" I demanded.

"Because, I've been in love with you since you were born, Bella! I didn't want you to think I was only with you out of obligation to your mother, because I'm not! I'm here because I love you! I let you go last night because I love you. Everything I've ever done is because I love you!"

His speech took a minute to soak in, but boy did it. His eyes had gone soft now, watching me cautiously.

"H-how, how did you meet my mother?"

"It's a long story," he said.

I shrugged. "I've got time, seeing since we're cutting class." His look was wary though. "Please, it's my mother."

He sighed. "It was about eighteen years ago. We were living in Oregon at the time, but Esme had just bought the house we live in now and was starting to restore it. Alice saw that we'd be back living here in the next decade so we decided to get started early. I was in town with Esme and Alice for a weekend and I was out hunting. I'd cut through town and it was about midnight so the town was dead. That's when I saw her, your mother.

"She was sitting at the bus stop with a small suitcase at her feet and he hands were curled around her pregnant belly. She must have been like six months along or something. I would have just left but she was crying. So I started to her when out of the blue a shadow ran through the streets and knocked her out. I realized it was a nomad vampire, out hunting too. They snatched her up and ran her out into the forest. Naturally I followed after them. He was crouched with your mother in his lap, getting ready to bite her neck. And I can't explain it, but I felt some tie to this woman, like something was keeping me there to protect her. So I fought the vampire until I killed him and then rushed your mother back to our place-"

"You mean...you saved my mother from another vampire?" I asked with a shaky voice. He nodded.

"As I held her tiny body in my arms, I was shocked to see how young she was, only about eighteen, just around the same age I was. And she was so incredibly beautiful, I knew I had to save her, and her baby. So I took her home and we nursed her back to health. When she was awake the next day, she was scared out of her mind. She kept babbling about her husband Charlie and how they got in a fight and she wanted to run away, but then all she wanted was to go back to him. This strange girl was so fascinating that I knew I couldn't lie to her. So when she finally calmed down a little after I assured her the baby was okay, I told her what I was. And the weirdest part was that she wasn't even scared. All she cared about was how I saved her life, and your life.

"She went back home and I came down to Forks every weekend, just so I could get to know her. And we spend every minute together while Charlie was at work. Sometimes he was suspicious, but she knew he couldn't know me. We became so incredibly close that she even started hanging around with my family. She probably spent more time shopping with Alice than with me, but she was my best friend. I even helped her decorate the nursery, which is where you found our initials, I suppose?"

I nodded. "I can't believe she never mentioned you. Why didn't I know about you? Did you get in a fight?"

But he held up his hand. "Let me finish. I told you it was long. Anyway, when you were born she called me up, because I was in Seattle at the time. When I told her I was coming, she told me no. She said she didn't want me to come see you because she was leaving Charlie and moving to Arizona where she got a job teaching. Your mother loved me very much, but she didn't want you apart of my lifestyle. All she told me was that the babies named was Isabella Marie Swan.

"So weeks past and I thought I would have gone crazy, but your mother started to write me. All her letters were about you. They were about your first steps, your first words. How well you did in school. I knew every single detail about you."

So that was why Edward never asked me questions like that, because he already knew.

"But she never sent me pictures of you, even though I always asked for them. It didn't take me long to realize that I had fallen in love you, in love with a girl I'd never even seen or met in my entire life, yet I was head over heels for her. Alice started seeing visions of me being happy, but the girl was always a shadow because no one knew what you looked like. All we knew was that somehow we were going to be together. When I told Renee this, she was happy, but sad. She made it clear you were to have no part in my life. She was only trying to protect you.

"But when she got sick, her letters changed. Instead alll she could talk about was how one day you and I could be together. Even during her first bout with the cancer she knew it would have to end sooner or later. When Alice got the vision of her death, my letters changed too...and she knew it. Your mother asked me to tell her when...and I did against my wishes. She knew all along Bella...."

Tears had once again filled my eyes. I closed them and remembered back to the day she died....it all made sense now...

_It was an unusually cold day, and rain was pounding on the window. My mother was sleeping in her bed as usual, but things were different. She was bald still, and her skin was so frail and translucent that I was scared to touch her. Purple bruises shadowed her eyes, which brought tears to mine. I sat there and tried to concentrate on my book, but there was something about today that scared me. Her eyes opened slowly and a smile formed on her lips._

_"Read to me, Bella Bear," she whispered._

_My lips trembled. She hadn't called me Bella Bear since I was a child. "Shh, you need your rest Mom."_

_She shook her head and grabbed my hand. "Please? I just want to hear your voice. You sound so beautiful when you read."_

_Her voice cracked on the last word, and her eyes were filled with even more pain than usual._

_"Mom? What's wrong? Do you hurt?"_

_Tears slid down her cheeks and she squeezed my hand until it hurt. "It's my time, Baby."_

_Knots stuck in my throat, almost too painful to squeak out some words. _

_"What are you talking about? It's not time, Mom. I won't let it be!"_

_Her free hand reached up and cupped my right cheek. "Baby....it's time to let go."_

_My book slid from my lap and hit the floor with a thud._

_"Please don't say that Mom," I cried._

_But I could feel it too. My mother was slipping away right in front of me._

_"I love you so much Bella. You have no idea how much so," she whispered. We were both crying now._

_"Mommy please! Please just hold on! You don't have to go, please! Just don't leave me."_

_"He'll watch over you...."_

_Her last words left chills on my arms. Who the hell was HE! But I ignored that as her eyes closed suddenly. Her monitors started beeping and I shook her violently._

_"Mom! Mom! Wake up! Please...please Mom! Don't leave me here!"_

_Tears blurred my vision until I saw nothing but wetness. I continued shaking her, begging her to get up._

_"Please Mom! MOM!"_

_I jumped up and started screaming. "Help! I need help! She's dying! Someone please come help me!"_

_Nurses and doctors filled with room within minutes. It took me a minute to realize that shrieking noise was still me screaming. Two nurses were trying to pry me from her bedside, but I thrashed and yelled._

_"Mom please!" I screamed._

_"Bella, you need to leave. It's going to be okay, just come with me. Shhh...."_

_The nurses words did not soothe me._

_"Mom help me!" I cried._

_"Doctor, we need to sedate her!" one of the nurses yelled._

_Something sharp poked me and all the sudden everything went black._

_He'll watch over you...._

"He'll watch over you....those were her last word," I said suddenly, looking up into his eyes. "She was talking about you, wasn't she?"

He nodded solemnly. "She wrote me a letter, a few weeks before she passed. She asked me to watch over you when you came to live with Charlie. I was to protect you, and she gave me her wishes that if you loved me too, it was okay. And that first day you came here, we had no idea who you'd be, but once I saw you, I knew. You looked just like her, even more beautiful if it were possible. It was like falling in love all over again."

My breathing increased again. "She wrote you a letter?"

"She also sent me a box, and she told me to give it to you when I told her about everything. I haven't opened it, but I'm guessing it's filled with things she wanted you to have," he said.

Everything that had happened since I moved her finally came together. My dream with Edward saying I looked like my mother, saying I reminded him of an old friend, that fight I overheard Renee and Phil having. He knew too...

"Phil knows?"

He nodded. "Yes, but he trusts that I'll take care of you. Your mother loved him very much, you know."

"Can I....can I see the box?"

* * *

**Oooo...so the truth finally comes out!! Leave some love!! :)**


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